Learning to Live in Balance

Learning to have balance in my life has been an ongoing process for many years.  Even though I teach classes about living a balanced life, I am still figuring it out myself.  It comes in layers.

For many years I have been so busy that when I look at my calendar with every day filled in with many things, it is a bit overwhelming, yet all those things have felt necessary, like I had no choice but to do them.

Amazing how standing back and looking at life from a different perspective changes the definition of priorities and balance.

Two months ago I had surgery.  My doctor told me I could not exercise or lift over 10 pounds for two months.  That took exercise and babysitting grand kids, as well as many chores off my plate immediately and without my consent.  In addition, my recovery was much harder and slower than expected, so I spent a lot of time in bed.  My energy level was very low, so I spend a lot of time reading and thinking.  (and watching movies, which was super fun!)

When you step out of your life like that, it allows you to look at your life from an outside viewpoint, rather than from being in the middle of it.  I was amazed at what I saw and learned!

One thing I started doing was writing down my favorite thing at the end of each day.  I started this in an effort to focus on the positive.  I did this for two months.  When I went back and read all the things that I had written, nearly all of them were relationship focused, not task focused.  Surprisingly, I discovered that getting things done off a list was not what brought me joy and satisfaction.  This was especially interesting considering that I am have been such a task-oriented person in the past.  You know, the kind that makes lists every morning and then feels discouraged if most of those things are not crossed off every night.  What I realized was that while my life focus had been on getting things done, the things that brought me the most joy were from investing in relationships that matter to me.  This conflict of focus has kept me out of balance for years and I had no idea!  It was a true aha moment for me.

Now as I slowly add things back into my life with my improving health, I am making a conscious shift to make the things that make me happy my highest priority, which includes putting a few fun things as priorities.  And that endless task list... well, some of those things still have to happen, but how I feel at the end of the day no longer depends on what tasks I accomplished.

I have realized that being happy is the biggest factor in having a balanced life.  It is, in fact, the purpose of finding balance.  You don't need to have surgery to get a perspective shift.  Take the time to write down your favorite thing about each day before you go to bed.  Do this for a month.  You will find definite patterns that will lead you to know which way to shift your priorities to have greater balance and happiness in your life.