Never Give Up

This is a story about a woman who never gave up.  Recently I got to know Kristen, a woman who was an alcoholic and drug addict for 45 years and lived to tell about it. She has been clean for 3 years now.  To meet anyone who has survived 45 years of such abuse is extremely rare, but someone who beat it after 45 years is nearly unheard of.  I wanted to know her story and what motivated her.  I wanted to know how she succeeded against staggering odds.

Kristen started smoking pot when she was 12 years old.  She became an alcoholic at a very young age and drank heavily for many years.  She then switched to drugs and was a drug addict for many years.  Then she switched to pain pills as her drug of choice and was addicted to that for many years.  She was in an out of rehab centers many times.  She was in and out of prison and/or jail many times.  She tried to kill her self many times.  Studies show that the life expectancy of a drug addict is 15-20 years after they start, or less.  There are no 90-year old drug addicts.  The fact that she is alive at all is amazing.  The fact that she has been clean and sober for 3 years is nothing short of miraculous.

Kristen was raised in a religious family with 3 brothers and 3 sisters.  She had a taste of a good life. Among other things in her upbringing, she was taught to believe in God.  She says now that she always knew there was a God, but she tried to hide from him most of her life.  In her addiction and misery over the years she would hit extreme lows.  She tried to drink herself to death.  When that didn't work she tried to overdose on pills.  When that didn't work she tried to slit her wrists.  She even bought a gun, loaded it and put it in her mouth, but she didn't have the guts to pull the trigger, thank goodness.  She believes now that she was crying out for help.  She really did not want to die, but she could not figure out how to live.

During her years of alcohol and drug use Kristen says she would have moments of clarity, times when she felt clear and close to God, but they didn't last.  Finally she knew that she was going crazy.  In one of those rare moments of clarity she says she knew there was something better, and that she couldn't go on living the way she was.  She knew she had to change or die.  She made a conscious choice to live, to change...after 45 years.  It took Kristen 2 years to actually get clean and sober after her decision, but she never gave up.  She fought.  When I asked her what kept her going, what kept her motivated and strong, she said having a mom that never gave up on her, and people who were there to support her got her through, as well as knowing that God was there, and that he never changes and wouldn't give up on her either.  She was lucky.  She always knew God was there and was aware of her.  Not everyone feels that.  She made a choice to turn to him, to let him in.

Kristen knows that she can never relax about being clean and sober.  Those cravings will always be there.  She will always fight to stay clean.  Her commitment to do so is inspiring.  When I asked her what keeps her strong, she told me 4 things:

1.  Prayer.
2.  The support of loved ones.
3.  Going to church and the temple regularly.
4.  Being honest with others.

Kristen fights harder to live than most of us.  She doesn't give up.  This perspective helps me to appreciate the life I have, to look at the good in my world, and to keep going even when it is hard.  May we be like Kristin in whatever challenges we face in life and NEVER GIVE UP.