21 Days to Happiness

A few weeks ago my daughters and I decided to try an experiment together.  For 21 days six of us agreed that we would all do something kind each day for another human being that we would not normally do.  We wanted to see if "stepping up" our level of kindness to others around us would change us in any way, and if so, how?  We agreed that it didn't need to be anything big, but to be aware and look for opportunities to make someone else's day better.  We also decided that this was a "no guilt" experiment.  If we missed a day, or several days, any amount of stepping it up was an improvement over what we had done previous to the experiment, and therefore a success.  No guilt.  And thus we began.  We had a group text where we reported at the end of the day what we had done.  This helped keep us motivated and accountable.  At the end of the 21 days we met at a local favorite restaurant (Kneaders) for breakfast (french toast, of course!) and to report the results of our experiment.  Here is what we discovered:

We realized how much we already do for others.  Finding some way to serve or do something nice for someone else that we normally would not do was somewhat of a challenge at times.  We realized that we already do a lot that we hadn't even been giving ourselves credit for.  We found that we had things we could have "counted" as service, or a nice thing for someone else, but we had to ask ourselves would we normally have done that anyway?  If we would have, we did not count it.

We noticed that we felt more positive, understanding and loving feelings towards those around us.  The author Richard Paul Evans one said, "You love that whom you serve".  It's true.  The bible teaches this over and over.  Our experiment softened our hearts toward other people, and helped us to love them.

We found that getting outside ourselves and our own problems actually made each day richer and happier.  Scientists would say that these acts of kindness increase our serotonin levels, or hormones in the brain called "happy hormones".  It made life more fun and more fulfilling.

We became more aware of the nice things other people do for us.  One of my daughters said she became much more aware when someone would hold a door open for her or do any other small kind gesture that she might have noticed in the past, but would not have received with as much appreciation as she now felt as she recognized these small gifts from strangers.  Greater awareness and appreciation of other peoples acts of kindness was an unexpected bonus!

"Stepping it up" proved more challenging on some days than others.  Some of my daughters expressed that on especially busy days it was hard to make time to think about someone else.  We all got creative in our desire to serve more than what we normally would have.  Here are some of the ways we found to brighten other people's days:

Spending time with a child when normally that time would have been spent cleaning.
Paying for the drink of the person behind you in the drive-thru.
Bringing someone a treat at work.
Buying a candy bar while going through the grocery line, then giving it to the cashier or person behind you.
Buying a candy bar and then praying who to give it to, then looking for that right person as you go through your day.
Saying "yes" to a child when normally you would have said "no" because you didn't want to do something.
Giving the gift of time to help someone else with their homework when you have your own to do.
Holding the door open for others.
Praying in the morning to know what to say to people you meet that will brighten their day.
Praying for an opportunity to help someone that day, and then paying attention and following through when ideas come.
Being friendly and cheerful to everyone you meet.
Going out of your way to help a coworker.
Doing extra things for family members that you would normally let them do themselves.
Being a nicer-than-usual driver and letting people into your lane.
Letting someone go in front of you in line at the store.
Letting someone else have their way on something and being happy about it.

Did this 21-day experiment change us?  YES!   We all agreed that it made us more aware of what we do in our day.  It helped us be more appreciative of others.  This experiment helped us feel more love for other people, and stepped up our level of kindness to others in a way that we hope to maintain.  As a group, we agreed that it also gave us a good feeling, and helped us to feel happier.

Want to try this experiment? It's so fun! It also worked really well to do it in a group.  The group text kept us accountable, motivated and inspired by each other.    I invite you to put together your own group and please let me know how it goes, or comment below if you want to do this experiment with me.  I would love an opportunity to do it again!