Letting Go of the Past, (Tool #1 of 3)

This is the first in a series of three articles on how to let go of the past.  Ironically enough (or not), the minute I started thinking about writing this article, I started feeling annoyed and offended with some of the people in my life who mean the most to me.  I guess I needed a little practicum on what I know to be true!

Today I am going to share with you one of the three tools I use in letting go of the past.  Each of these three tools works well for letting go of different types of things, and all are valuable.

The first tool is called "Finishing the conversation".*  Have you ever had things you wanted to say to someone but couldn't or shouldn't for whatever reason?  These unsaid things stay inside of you and take energy to keep inside of you, but they are not good for you.  Sometimes saying them to the person is not good either, so what can you do?  You do need to get your words out, to say them aloud in order for them to be released from inside of you and stop taking your energy.  Here is how to do it without hurting anyone else, but allowing yourself to heal:

You need to be somewhere where NO ONE else can hear you.  For me, most often this is in the car while I am driving with the windows rolled up.  It can also be alone in your house, out in a field with no one around, or anywhere you can be alone.  Imagine that the person you need to talk to is there with you.  You are going to talk to their image, as though they were there.  You ask the image of this person if you may tell them how you feel.  You imagine that they say "yes".  You then say everything that is inside of you, and I mean EVERYTHING that you want to say to them.  There is no need to sugar coat anything, just say it how it is.  You can rant, rave and yell if needed.  Get all of it out in your words, leave nothing unsaid.

Once you have done that, take a deep breath and sit quietly for a moment.  Now for the hard part: you next apologize for your negative feelings, and for pointing your negative energy at them.  Yes, I know it's all their fault.  You were the one wronged.  I get that.  You are not apologizing for anything that they did.  You are not apologizing for something you did not do.  You are simply apologizing for having negative feelings towards them; that is your part.  Of course, if there is more to it than than, by all means apologize for that as well.  You then imagine that they forgive you for your negative feelings.  You then imagine that they leave.  At this point, if you have a higher power, it is also important to address that higher power and apologize for your negative feelings in that way as well.

You will find as you do this exercise that it is somewhat like throwing up.  You get the bad stuff out of you, you get it outside of your body, and you walk away feeling better and more emotionally healthy.  The negative is no longer with you making you "sick" and taking your energy.  It is gone.  (I have found a time or two with really hard feelings that I thought I was done after one time, only to find later that I had more to say and had to repeat this exercise more than once for the same issue, and that is totally fine.  The goal is to get it all out without emotionally throwing up on the real person, although perhaps you would like to, JK!)

I encourage you to think about who you have an unfinished conversation with and try this exercise today in order to let go of the past and be a happier you!




*"Anchors Away", CD by Kirk Duncan