Letting Go of the Past - Because Papers (Tool #3 of 3)

The past could be a short as 5 minutes ago, or it could be years ago.  The first tool I gave you was one you could use relatively quickly and get results.  The second tool was more of a "slow release" technique.  (BTW, if you missed it because of the American holiday, go back and read tool #2.  I have had amazing results with it.)  Tool #3 requires the most emotional work, but also yields deeper healing and understanding.  This tool is for those of you who are ready to get serious about letting go of your negative feelings.  It is called "Because Papers".  Here is how it works:

Pick an issue that is bothering you.  Write it down in as a statement with because at the end.
Here are a few examples:

"So-and-so makes me feel ________because......"
"I feel _______ because......"
"I am having a hard time forgiving so-and-so because.........."
"I can't do such-and-such because......."

It can be about anything that is bothering you and gnawing away at you inside.

After you decide on your topic and write down your statement, put your pen on the paper (or your fingers on the keyboard) and write whatever comes to your mind.  You are going to write any and everything that enters your mind without analyzing it.  Just write down everything that comes.  No filter.  You should be able to fill up at least a page by doing this emotional dump of pent-up feelings and emotions.  Do not stop until you are out of things to say.  Then close your notebook or put your paper away where it will not be found.  Do not read over it.  Do not cross things out and re-write them.  Close it up and put it away for 24 hours.

On day two get your paper out and read it.  As you do, you will get an idea about more to write about.  It might be a different perspective.  It might be additional feelings that were under the ones you had yesterday.  By the time you get to the end of reading your paper, you will have an idea of what to write about on day two's paper.  Begin it the same way with a because statement.

Write everything that comes to your mind.  It will be different from what you wrote yesterday.  Again, do not stop until you cannot think of anything else to write.  Do not read over it.  Do not cross things out and re-write them.  Close it up and put it away for another 24 hours.

On day three get your paper out and read what you wrote the day before.  Again, you will understand things more deeply as you read.  You may get an "aha" moment.  You may get a new perspective on what the real issue is.  Whatever it is, write that as the heading for your third paper, then write everything you can about that topic.

This method helps you get down to the root of your emotions, the root of the problem, the root of the pain that you have not been able to let go of before now.  Occasionally I have had to write a day or two longer, but usually three days is enough to figure it out and let it go.

Here is a personal example of mine:
At one point not so long ago, my husband and I were battling over food issues.  Of course I thought he was the one with the issues, and he thought it was me.  I decided to do because papers about it.

 My first topic was, "I don't want my husband to claim all the Sunday dinner left-overs for his lunch because......"  I wrote down everything I could think of.  Boy, it felt good to get it all out!  When I went back and read it the next day I had some realizations.  My new statement for day two was:  "I am selfish with food because......."  That was a brutally honest realization, ouch!  I wrote everything I could think of.  Some possible solutions actually came to me, as well as a desire to be a better example to the children, and meet my husbands needs with abundance.   By day three, my new topic became, "I have food issues because......"  I was able to get to the root as I wrote, realizing that I had a scarcity mentality with food stemming from some extremely tight financial times when there truly was not enough.  I had held on to that for a very long time, even though there was now plenty of food.   Once I realized what the root of the problem was, I was able to LET IT GO!  I found a new desire to live with an abundance mentality, to shower my husband and family with what they needed and wanted.  It was such a freeing experience!  I now feel completely differently, and it has helped the rest of my family as well.  As you heal, it will also help those around you.

I have heard a couple of people complain about "hating" to write.  Think about it this way: Anything worth having requires some unpleasant work.  Whether it is growing a family, restoring furniture, creating something, or whatever, it all requires some unpleasant work.  For example, if you love a beautiful yard you have to do the unpleasant work.  Digging, weeding, fertilizing.  The end results are so worth it.  The yield is a beautiful yard.  Anything worthwhile requires work, and some of it will be unpleasant.  Keep the goal in mind.  The unpleasant part of the work is WORTH THE RESULTS.

I am anxious for you to try this new tool and find healing for yourself!  This method is the most work, but also yields the deepest results.  Though I am not trained in psychology or counseling I have learned a few wonderful tools that help to heal.  I am simply passing on those tools from others that have helped me to make amazing and healthy changes in my life.  They work, and I know they work!  
I have been able to heal from bad feelings towards others, long-standing grudges, personal and money issues, weight-loss issues and fear issues.  I have had amazing results and so can you.  It's time to let go of the past!