Heart-Shaped Rocks

 My next door neighbor was an avid outdoorist.  Whenever she was out wandering around in nature she would look for heart-shaped rocks.  She often brought these rocks home to add to her wonderful collection.  My children liked it so much that whenever they found a rock in a heart shape, they would take it to her.  Eventually this wonderful neighbor moved away.  When she did, she gave me a heart rock to remember her by.  I set it in a special place in my yard.  It made my heart happy, so I began searching for heart rocks of my own.  At first they were quite hard to find.  I felt like I was hunting for a four-leaf clover.  On the rare occasion I would find one I was overjoyed!  I would take it home and set it next to the one my neighbor gave me.  Eventually I had a nice little collection.  

I've always liked rocks.  I have a beautiful rock wall in my backyard, and have brought in larger rocks to set throughout my flower beds as well.  One day I noticed that some of these rocks had heart shapes as well.  What a discovery!  I had never noticed them before.  

I decided to play a little game with my grandchildren when they came over for a BBQ the next week.  I had identified 14 heart-shaped rocks.  We divided the grandkids into 2 teams, each with a camera, and gave them a time limit.  Whomever could find the most heart-shaped rocks in the time period would win.  I knew there were 14, and I was anxious to see how many they could find.  The most surprising thing happened. My grandchildren started identifying hearts in rocks that I had not seen, or that I still did not quite see.  I decided whatever they thought was heart-shaped would count. In the end, we added up all the rock pictures for each team.  Shockingly, they each had 43 rocks.  "I certainly have creative grandchildren" I thought.  In the weeks that followed, I kept mulling over how they saw hearts where I didn't.  

It just so happens, that I walk past a section of  rock landscaping on my way in to work each morning.  I decided to look for hearts there.  At first I could identify one or two, but as the days went by I began to see more and more, until now, I see hearts nearly everywhere I look while walking past those rocks!  What changed?  

Our mind gets focused on something, and suddenly that is what we see everywhere.  Have you ever gotten a new car, and suddenly you see your car everywhere? Or you are pregnant, and suddenly everyone seems pregnant?  That is what happened with the rocks.  My mind started "seeing" them. 

This is true for many other things in life as well, including "seeing" the positive or negative of any given situation, having gratitude or being disgruntled about a circumstance, appreciating the good or being irritated by an individual, "seeing" the good in the world or overwhelmed by the hard things our world is experiencing right now.  

Pretty much you are going to see what you are looking for.  What are you looking for?  Do you mostly notice the negative in a child or spouse?  The people driving around you on the road? What you don't like about your job? etc.  What if you were to actively "look" for the positive in your child or spouse?  What if you were to notice the gracious drivers on the road? What if you were to actively look for what you DO like about your job?  How would this make your life better?

Seeing the good, the beautiful, and the positive around you may feel like looking for a four-leaf clover at first, and it may not change your circumstance, but it will change who you are inside.  It will change how you feel.  It will lead you to peace, joy and contentment, and THAT changes everything.

Connect with me more at imlivinginjoy@gmail.com

Getting Out of Overwhelm

 I was feeling overwhelmed.  Every day my time was stretched so thin that I was starting to hyperventilate inside.  I had no idea how I was going to accomplish everything that I had committed to and was expected of me.  I knew that something had to give, I just didn't know what.

Then the idea came.  It was so simple I almost didn't do it.  The idea was to write a declaration that said,  "I have time to do everything I want."   

The first time I looked in the mirror and said out loud, "I have time to do everything I want" I INSTANTLY felt a relief of tension.  I felt a little lighter, a little better, a little less stressed and overwhelmed.  I was quite surprised at how just saying it (regardless of whether it was true in the moment) affected me.  I guess I had nothing to lose, so I tried it again the next day, and the next, and the next.  The most astonishing thing started to happen.  I started feeling differently.  I didn't feel overwhelmed, and I actually was getting everything done that I needed to do....and more!  How was this possible?  Had my situation changed? No.  Did I have less stuff to do and be responsible for? No.  Yet, here I was in the exact same situation, but feeling completely different AND actually feeling good about what I was accomplishing.  It felt great! I felt on top of things!  What had actually changed?  Was it magic?  No, but it felt magical, lol!

Do you do declarations?  Some people call them mantras or affirmations.  It's all the same basic idea.  It's a positive statement that you repeat frequently to yourself.  I have done them before, but this experience was more instant, perhaps because of how desperate I was feeling.

Here's what happens:  Creating a mental image activates many of the same brain areas that actually experiencing these situations would.  Regular repetition of positive statements can encourage your brain to take these statements as fact.  When you truly believe you can do something, your actions often follow.  In other words, it's helpful to give your brain instructions.  Declarations give your brain instructions!

Think about it, did your brain automatically know how to tie a shoe when you were little?  No, you had to teach it.  It's the same idea with declarations.  We have to teach our brain what we want it to do....and then it does it!  The brain is pretty amazing.  

I encourage you to give it a try.  Pick one thing you want to be better or different in your life and make a positive statement as though it has already happened.  (Remember, it doesn't have to be true in the moment.)  Then say it out loud every day and see what happens!  

P.S.  I am getting ready to start a course on emotional management.  It could be a great fit for you!  Contact me at shireebest@yahoo.com if you want more information.