In the Shade of a Tree

 Years ago we strategically planted a shade tree in our backyard to grow and shade our beautiful deck.  It grew slowly.  So slowly.  Over time we did other things to provide shade and I kind of forgot about the tree's original purpose.  Then one day I was out sitting on the deck and suddenly realized that the curtain I usually open and close to keep the sun off of us was shaded by the tree!  I realized that the tree not only shaded the deck, but had grown taller than the deck and shaded part of the house too!  Funny how something can grow slowly over time, seemingly without notice, until suddenly there it is!

You are like that too, you know.  You have little things in place that you do regularly in your efforts to reach who you want to be.  They seem so small, so almost insignificant.  You may even forget the original reason you started doing them because they have become so automatic.  

One day you look back and see how far you have come!  Perhaps you can remember when you never thought you would get to this point.  

What is one thing you have been doing over time that has helped you become who you are now? 

Take a moment to look back and see how far you have come.  YOU are like that shade tree. You have grown slowly over time, and have made great strides toward your full potential!  

I can hear you.  Stop pointing out how far you have to go, and all the ways you are not great.  Take the example of my tree.  It doesn't berate itself for not being at full potential yet. Can it get bigger? Yes.  Could its branches be more far reaching? Yes.  But it is a fabulous and beneficial tree that is fulfilling its purpose and doing much good as it continues to grow.  Perhaps you can insert yourself into that last sentence.  Try it. 

“I am a fabulous and beneficial (person) that is fulfilling (my) purpose and doing much good as (I) continue to grow.” 

I invite you to say this affirmation multiple times a day to yourself until you believe it. 

Believe it because it is true.  

You are amazing and wonderful.♥

The Long Uphill

I started riding my bike for exercise this summer.  Near our home is a long, uphill road.  The upward  incline is somewhat gradual,  getting steeper and steeper as you near the top.  

When I  first started, I could only ride my bike about a third of the way up.  Now I can go much farther.  It’s been a process.  Part of it is physically building up those muscles, but the other part is mental.  

When I look up and see the very long hill in front of me, and how far I have to go to reach the top, I feel somewhat overwhelmed, like it’s too hard, too much.  

When I focus on what is right in front of me, pedaling through just the next few feet, it feels much more doable.  As I continue pedaling, keeping my eyes on what is right before me, repeating this over and over, I get where I’m trying to go. I eventually find myself at the top. 

For those who are futuristic, looking way ahead can be motivating.  For many though, it can be overwhelming.  

I find that my mental lesson in uphill bike riding  translates to what I am pushing myself to do in my life as well.  When I look at the big picture and how far I need to go, I get discouraged.  It feels too hard.  

When I focus on what is right in front of me, the next right step, and do that, and then the next right step after that, and so on, and so on, I find myself in the place I wanted to be.

What are you trying to do in your life that feels big and hard?

Is it possible that you are looking far ahead and getting discouraged or feeling overwhelmed?

Try this: Think about just what you need to do next. What’s the one next right step?  Focus just on that.  Don’t look at the big picture.  Take the step.  Then take one more, and one more.  Eventually you will find yourself in your intended destination.  Keep taking one step at a time in the direction you intentionally decide. 

Don’t give up.  Don’t get discouraged.  Just keep going.  As long as you do that, you can’t help but eventually find yourself where you intended to go.  

 For help getting where you want to go, join my 4-week online class "Living an Elevated Life", starting August 29th, 2023.  You will get awesome tools to help you take those next right steps, as well as support and coaching along the way.  Register here

How to Become a Butterfly

 Have you ever watched a butterfly emerge from its cocoon?  

In a recent video I watched a butterfly emerging.  It was a slow, difficult and tedious process.  The butterfly struggled and struggled to get out. To add to it, the butterfly was upside down and quite literally in the dark.  Once out, it had to hang from the cocoon and let it's wings dry before it could use them.  

What would happen if the butterfly quit halfway through?  What if it decided it was too hard and too much of a struggle?  That it was easier and more comfortable to stay where it was?  What if it gave up?   

Attempting anything new takes a lot of effort.  Whether it is starting a new eating habit, exercise routine, a new job or career, or something else entirely, starting something new is HARD.  It's a struggle.  It's tempting to stay where it's easier, comfortable and familiar. You may feel  upside down and in the dark. You may be tempted to give up.  

Recently I was reminded not to be frustrated with the process of transformation.  

I was reminded that it takes time and struggle to become a beautiful butterfly.  

I was reminded not to be frustrated that I am not one already.  

The struggle is meant to be part of the process.  The struggle is important.  It's what makes me strong.  It's what grows my wings and gets me ready to fly.  

Any time we decide to do something new, something that transforms us, we have to grow in our cocoon and then patiently get out of it - work our way out.  The struggle is part of the plan.  Be patient and struggle.  Don't give up.  You are becoming something beautiful.

P.S. If you are looking for personal transformation, you are going to LOVE my new class, "Living an Elevated Life".  This 4-week zoom class will give you the opportunity to pick something to transform while being given tools for success, and support.  Starts August 29th.  Sign up here

A Numb Thumb

 Many years ago after a wonderful Thanksgiving, I put the children to bed and set about cutting the rest of the meat off the turkey bones.  

As I was working, I wasn't careful enough, and the knife slipped and sliced into my left thumb.  It was deep.  I could tell immediately.  I quickly wrapped a towel around my thumb and called for my husband.  Six stitches later I returned home just in time to crawl into bed for the night.

As time went on and the stiches were removed, I noticed that I had no feeling in a large area in the middle of my thumb.  Being a nurse, I know that nerves do grow back when severed, but that it is very slow and will likely take years.  

I would notice periodically that my thumb still had a numb spot right around the top knuckle on the medial side.  Occasionally I would poke at it to see if I was regaining any feeling.  Eventually I forgot about my numb spot.

Fast forward to yesterday.  I had forgotten all about my thumb, and hadn't really paid attention to it in a number of years.  Our minds have the wonderful ability to adapt the abnormal into feeling normal, and this is just what had happened.  I forgot about my numb thumb because my mind adapted.  I stopped noticing it because it became "normal".  Yesterday, however, as I was sitting in church, I suddenly remembered my numbness and began to poke and prod at my finger to see if the numbness had lessened.  It hadn't.  I guess it's permanent after all.  I must have done a great job of severing that nerve with the knife!

It reminds me of other ways our minds adapt things to feel normal, like when you lose a loved one.  At first the change is unbearable, but very slowly over time you develop a new "normal".  

For someone married to an abusive partner, it also begins to feel "normal" over time.  They get used to it.  

Having a chronic illness is the same way.  

There are a million examples of the way our minds adapt to our situation and surroundings.  This can be a very good thing.  It's our brains way of helping us survive.  It can also be a bad thing.  Things we shouldn't adapt to become normal - like abuse, for example. 

 Sometimes we have the power to change our situation or surroundings, and sometimes we don't.  Often we even fail to recognize that our situation is not healthy or good for us.  

I invite you to examine your life, and become aware of something that feels "normal" but is unhealthy, that you have the power to change.

Here are a few ideas:

• Daily chaos
• Gossiping
• Beating yourself up emotionally
• Getting mad too easily
• Criticizing
• Eating too much/too little of something. (I could do a whole blog just on my experience with this)
• Screen time

P.S. I am teaching a FREE webinar this Wednesday, August 9th, 2023 on "The Top 3 Ways You are Beating Yourself Up - And How to Stop It".  I'd love to have you, or someone you know join me. Register here

 

Do You Have FOMO?

 

Do you have FOMO?  A fear of missing out?  You either have it, or you likely know someone who does.  This is the person who doesn't want to miss out on anything.  As a result, they overcommit, say "yes" when they should say "no", and stress themselves out trying to do everything and be everywhere.  Having FOMO is exhausting! 

Take me, for example.  With an already busy Saturday, I found out there was going to be a family gathering 40 minutes away at an inconvenient time for me.  I began an argument with myself:

  

"You definitely don't have time for that!"

"But people are going to be there that I want to see!"

"You just saw most of those people last weekend."

"But there are going to be a couple people there I haven't seen recently."

"And you are  not very close to those people."

"But they are driving so far to be there."

"That's their choice.  They haven't asked you to do the same."

"But I might miss out on something!"

You see how this goes.....

A healthy approach is to objectively weigh out the sacrifice while leaving the emotion (the fear of missing out) out of it.  Weigh it out.  Does it feel like a right fit?

Is it worth it to me to make the sacrifice to drive 40 minutes to see people I just saw, and a couple of people who may not even care if I'm there, just because I might miss out on something?  What might I be missing out on anyway?  

Sometimes it is worth it, and sometimes it isn't.  Sometimes you should say "yes".  And sometimes it's a  "no".  The goal is to keep yourself in emotional balance, the opposite of running yourself ragged trying to be everywhere and do everything!

P.S.  If you missed my FREE webinar "The Top 3 Ways You are Beating Yourself Up - And How to Stop It", I am offering it again on Wednesday, August 9th, 2023.    Register here

New 4-week class starting August 22nd!  "Living an Elevated Life"  More info to come.