A month ago I started a temporary job while I am waiting for the Nursing job I really want to come open. The Nursing job is worth waiting for. Because this temporary job (not in the medical field) does not pay enough, I am working a lot of hours to bring in the income needed. I have had to give up a lot of things that brought me great joy, and I feel like I basically do nothing but work, eat and sleep. This new job is not fun. It is not in my field of expertise. It is not something I like or am good at. In fact, I am not using my talents at all to do this job. It involves a lot of driving (not my favorite) and hunting for items in unknown locations (definitely not my forte).
The other day as I was doing this unappetizing work I had the thought that my days were just being wasted doing nothing valuable. As this idea began to grow in my mind I had to question if that was really true.
What is true that the things that felt like they gave my life meaning, and which I have been accustomed to having in my life are not there at the moment. Does that mean that my days have no meaning, no benefit right now? Are they truly "wasted days" except for the money they provide? As I pondered this thought further I realized that even these hard, seemingly wasted days are of benefit.
What I am going through is HARD. Even so, I realize that when open, I always learn from hard, and any time I’m learning the experience is not a waste. "Okay", I thought, "what am I learning from this hard experience?" As I racked my brain I realized that I am being forced to make a choice to practice what I preach.....or not; to find good no matter my circumstance.....or not. Do I really believe what I teach? When things are tough and don't go as expected, what can I find that is good?
I realized that I am being humbled. I realized that I am being refined. It has taken me over a month, but I am starting to learn to find joy in this difficult and unpleasant job.
Are there good things about this job? Yes, but I have had to look farther than usual to find them.
Will this experience change me in positive ways? Yes, if I let it.
I know that I can come out of this experience more grateful, more appreciative when my "real" job comes open. I will have more empathy for people who do this type of work. I am learning to see the good that I am providing, a service that others need.
I am learning that while I am in a sea of strangers all day every day I can share a smile, be friendly, be a light to those around me in many tiny ways. I can look for positive around me. I can enjoy the scenery God has provided while I am driving. I can appreciate a car that is warm and runs. I can appreciate having a way to meet our financial needs. I can feel thankful for a job that lets me work as many hours as I want.
I do not know if I will be doing this job for a week or a year. I must gear up to find a way to be happy now, because the alternative of trudging through each dreary day unhappily is just one I don't want to live with. And I don't have to.
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Tuesday, February 5, 2019
Learning to Love Winter
I am one of those people who is always cold. I LOVE summer because it is when I am the most warm. Spring and autumn are not too bad, but every fall I absolutely dread winter coming. I live in Utah where it is winter/cold roughly five months of the year.....that's almost half. "Why not move somewhere warmer?" you may ask. Almost all of my family lives here--my parents, sisters, children, grandchildren and friends. I love our home, our neighborhood and our location, so does my husband. So this is where we live......but I still always dread winter. "Dress warmer", you may suggest. I DO dress warmer. I wear long underwear in the winter, long sleeves, thick socks, scarves, sweaters and boots. I still feel cold because the air is cold.
This fall I got tired of being miserable. I decided I was going to stop dreading winter. I was going to find a way to love winter. There had to be a way. As the first cold blasts of air started rolling in around the end of October I started looking for what was good about it. The first thing I noticed was that I was looking forward to drinking hot chocolate. I love hot chocolate! Later as I drank my first steaming cup of the season I realized that if it was warm all the time I would never drink hot chocolate. It's definitely a winter drink.
As the weather turned colder I got out my heated blanket, my pink fuzzy robe and my thick fuzzy socks. Then I realized that if I lived where it is hot all the time I would never get the satisfaction of snuggling under a heated blanket and feeling my cold toes warm up. I would never get to wear my soft fuzzy robe or my thick, soft fuzzy socks. They definitely feel luxurious and warm.
As November, December and January passed I began to notice other things: the way hot soup tastes going down my throat and warming me from the inside out, the comfort of snuggling under heavy warm blankets, the way a hot bath feels when you soak in the tub (especially with the lights off and a few candles lit), how calming it is to stare into the flames of a fireplace, how beautiful the snow looks. (Christmas just wouldn't be the same without snow.....and being cold). I love the way fresh snow glistens in the sun, and the way snow can transform the landscape into a breathtaking winter wonderland. I realized that I even like the exercise of shoveling snow, and especially how rewarding it looks once it is all piled up around the cleaned off driveway and sidewalks. I like the way the house feels all warm inside, a fragrant winter candle burning while watching the birds pecking around outside the window. It feels cozy and safe. It's a winter feeling.
In the end (to my amusement) what I realized is that what has really been happening all these years is that I have focused on what I do not like, and noticed it, instead of focusing on what I do like, and appreciating it. Since I have started appreciating winter this year, it has been much more enjoyable!
Then it hit me: This wonderfully simple idea can be applied to anything unpleasant - a job you don't like, a commute that is difficult, a chaotic household or a too-quiet household, being married, being single, having kids, not having kids....whatever your circumstance. Look for what you like about your situation. Then keep looking. You might be amazed by what you find.
This fall I got tired of being miserable. I decided I was going to stop dreading winter. I was going to find a way to love winter. There had to be a way. As the first cold blasts of air started rolling in around the end of October I started looking for what was good about it. The first thing I noticed was that I was looking forward to drinking hot chocolate. I love hot chocolate! Later as I drank my first steaming cup of the season I realized that if it was warm all the time I would never drink hot chocolate. It's definitely a winter drink.
As the weather turned colder I got out my heated blanket, my pink fuzzy robe and my thick fuzzy socks. Then I realized that if I lived where it is hot all the time I would never get the satisfaction of snuggling under a heated blanket and feeling my cold toes warm up. I would never get to wear my soft fuzzy robe or my thick, soft fuzzy socks. They definitely feel luxurious and warm.
As November, December and January passed I began to notice other things: the way hot soup tastes going down my throat and warming me from the inside out, the comfort of snuggling under heavy warm blankets, the way a hot bath feels when you soak in the tub (especially with the lights off and a few candles lit), how calming it is to stare into the flames of a fireplace, how beautiful the snow looks. (Christmas just wouldn't be the same without snow.....and being cold). I love the way fresh snow glistens in the sun, and the way snow can transform the landscape into a breathtaking winter wonderland. I realized that I even like the exercise of shoveling snow, and especially how rewarding it looks once it is all piled up around the cleaned off driveway and sidewalks. I like the way the house feels all warm inside, a fragrant winter candle burning while watching the birds pecking around outside the window. It feels cozy and safe. It's a winter feeling.
In the end (to my amusement) what I realized is that what has really been happening all these years is that I have focused on what I do not like, and noticed it, instead of focusing on what I do like, and appreciating it. Since I have started appreciating winter this year, it has been much more enjoyable!
Then it hit me: This wonderfully simple idea can be applied to anything unpleasant - a job you don't like, a commute that is difficult, a chaotic household or a too-quiet household, being married, being single, having kids, not having kids....whatever your circumstance. Look for what you like about your situation. Then keep looking. You might be amazed by what you find.
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