Many years ago after a wonderful Thanksgiving, I put the children to bed and set about cutting the rest of the meat off the turkey bones.
As I was working, I wasn't careful enough, and the knife slipped and sliced into my left thumb. It was deep. I could tell immediately. I quickly wrapped a towel around my thumb and called for my husband. Six stitches later I returned home just in time to crawl into bed for the night.
As time went on and the stiches were removed, I noticed that I had no feeling in a large area in the middle of my thumb. Being a nurse, I know that nerves do grow back when severed, but that it is very slow and will likely take years.
I would notice periodically that my thumb still had a numb spot right around the top knuckle on the medial side. Occasionally I would poke at it to see if I was regaining any feeling. Eventually I forgot about my numb spot.
Fast forward to yesterday. I had forgotten all about my thumb, and hadn't really paid attention to it in a number of years. Our minds have the wonderful ability to adapt the abnormal into feeling normal, and this is just what had happened. I forgot about my numb thumb because my mind adapted. I stopped noticing it because it became "normal". Yesterday, however, as I was sitting in church, I suddenly remembered my numbness and began to poke and prod at my finger to see if the numbness had lessened. It hadn't. I guess it's permanent after all. I must have done a great job of severing that nerve with the knife!
It reminds me of other ways our minds adapt things to feel normal, like when you lose a loved one. At first the change is unbearable, but very slowly over time you develop a new "normal".
For someone married to an abusive partner, it also begins to feel "normal" over time. They get used to it.
Having a chronic illness is the same way.
There are a million examples of the way our minds adapt to our situation and surroundings. This can be a very good thing. It's our brains way of helping us survive. It can also be a bad thing. Things we shouldn't adapt to become normal - like abuse, for example.
Sometimes we have the power to change our situation or surroundings, and sometimes we don't. Often we even fail to recognize that our situation is not healthy or good for us.
I invite you to examine your life, and become aware of something that feels "normal" but is unhealthy, that you have the power to change.
Here are a few ideas:
- Daily chaos
- Gossiping
- Beating yourself up emotionally
- Getting mad too easily
- Criticizing
- Eating too much/too little of something. (I could do a whole blog just on my experience with this)
- Screen time
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