The Gift That Does Not Repeat Itself

 My father-in-law died on Saturday.  It wasn't a shock, but then again it was a total shock.  He had gone into the hospital right after Thanksgiving to have a pacemaker put in.  Instead of a successful surgery, he was told his heart was failing.  There was no surgery, and he was put on hospice.  But this man was stubborn.  He was a fighter.  Even after a couple of close calls where we thought it might be the end, he would rally to the top again, and I would hear of him walking around the block the next day.  I thought he would hold on for a lot longer.  Saturday morning the call came that no one wants to make or receive.  He was gone.  He went quickly and to me, unexpectedly....well, you know.... 

It kind of boggled my mind to think that for 90 years this man, this being, has had a presence on this planet.  That's a long time.  So strange how all of a sudden that can change.  You just kind of think your loved ones are going to live forever, ya know?

Let me say again what I said a couple weeks ago: 

Time is a gift that does not repeat itself.

Christmas is a time when we tend to think about these things more than usual.  

This Christmas I invite you to gather those you love around you.  Be present with them.  Cherish the moments.  Glean every ounce of enjoyment.  Hopefully you have a million more moments to come.  Make them count.  

Little ones grow and change.  Older ones grow and change.  Take pictures.  Laugh.  Listen to them.  And be grateful for the gift of time.  You only get this Christmas once.  

A Different Kind of Gift

It's that time of year.  We tend to think more about giving right now than at any other time of the year.  

Did you know that in the United States more than one third of annual donations (33.6%) happen in the "season of giving" between Thanksgiving and Christmas? 

I recently heard about a very different kind of gift someone was offering this year, and it costs...nothing, yet it is something we all want.  It's very valuable, and much needed.  AND it helps both the giver and the recipient.  Any guesses?

This person told me that their gift to those around them this Christmas-time is to 

not judge people.  

I started thinking about that.  What if each of us chose to accept everyone they encountered for who and where they are this season?  What would our world look like if we did that?  

What if we each judged one third less between Thanksgiving and Christmas?  What would that do?  

That could include not just those that are easy to judge because they are different than you, like the homeless, those struggling with obvious addictions, the super rich, those that look way more beautiful than you, or have way more than you do, but 

                                                 ESPECIALLY

those that might feel your judgment, such as your partner, your children and their choices, your siblings, your parents, other relatives you may or may not love spending time with, your friends, neighbors, and yes, even that person in the car that just cut you off in traffic.

Wouldn't it be an amazing gift to extend love and acceptance instead of judgment?  

I know I want to be loved and accepted for who and what I am in all my imperfections.  

I know you want that too.  

Can you imagine how differently you (and they) would feel if you gave that gift this season?  If we all did?

The Gift I Missed

Last Christmas I missed out on one of my gifts.  I wasn't paying attention and I totally missed it.  Here's what happened: 

Before Christmas I received an email from a friend asking if I had gotten her present.  I hadn't.  The present should have arrived by email.  After checking my spam folder I found it.  The email was from this friend's daughter, who is a social marketing expert.  Here it is:

Over this beautiful picture were the following words: 

"This year my mother___wanted to gift you something a little different because of how amazing you are!!

She paid for your first month of designs ($) to grow your business and start your year out strong."

 Wow!  I thought!  How generous!  I get to spend ($) on free, beautiful advertising!  How wonderful!

Then I didn't do anything about it for a couple of weeks. 

Finally both my friend and her daughter reached out to me.  I ended up on a phone call where I learned that I had missed my present because.......I didn't scroll down.  Had I scrolled down past the picture I would have found that she had already created a beautiful Christmas post for me to use on Instagram and Facebook that all I had to do was copy and paste.  By the time I finally caught on to what the present was, December was already over.  I had missed it.  I had been given a beautiful gift, but because I wasn't paying attention I missed it.  

Do you ever miss things because you're not fully paying attention?  Something good is in reach, but because you're distracted, half paying attention, you miss it? 

This is not the first time I have missed out because I was not paying attention.

(In the end, this generous marketer agreed to redesign my post so I could use it in January.)

More than missing out on announcements,  opportunities and gifts, I look backward and realize that I have sometimes missed out on being fully present with my children and other loved ones.  

Time is a gift that does not repeat itself.  

Being preoccupied and busy with "tasks" or other seemingly urgent but not important happenings can lead to missing out on never-to-be repeated conversations and quality time.

So, if I may offer one piece of unsolicited advice this Christmas season?  Be fully present.  Pay attention to what counts.  Yes, all those preparations "need" to get done (or do they?), but when you look back you won't regret not getting everything done, but you will regret being distracted from what really matters.  

In other words, don't forget to scroll down.

P.S.  I'm starting a new podcast in January called Just Love Them!  Details to come!