Last week I shared with you that I had finally figured out why I am here and how I am to be changed by my brush with death in April. I promised to share that answer with you this week. As I do, please keep in mind that this answer is tailored for me. Each of our answers to this same question might be different, just as we are all different and unique. I am simply sharing with you my friends, in hopes of inspiring you to find your own answers to these questions:
"Why am I here?"
"How should my life be different going forward?"
As I told you in my last blog, my answer came suddenly and unexpectedly after weeks of searching and asking. I will tell you up front that my answer is not an all-inclusive map for the rest of my life, simply an answer at the moment of what I need to do, and how to spend my energy. And so I share what is deep in my heart. Here goes:
I am still here because......God wants me to learn more, grow more, teach more, be a light to others, be a help to others. Basically be a drop in the bucket to make the world a better place.
How am I to be different because of my experience? Perhaps I can answer this best by describing my perspective shift. I used to get up in the morning with a list of things I needed to do that day. Then I would pray and ask God what did he want me to do that day? It was my day, but I was willing to do something for God during it. I would add it to my list, and work to accomplish everything on my list for that day. I almost never got it all done, and sometimes the thing I felt prompted about didn't happen either.
Now I get up in the morning and realize it is a gift just to be here and alive, a gift God did not have to give me. My day is His, not my own. I pray and ask Him how He would like me to use the gift he has given me today. I listen closely and intently for direction. I write it down. I make it my top priority, even if it is something that will be done later in the day. It is my main objective. I then fill in with the everyday things that we all do to keep life moving along.
In the past my day used to be about accomplishing tasks. Now my day is about doing whatever God prompts me to do, and it is so much more meaningful. Contrast this last Monday for example. What felt meaningful to do was take my son to lunch, spend time listening to another child, and get direction about what to teach at a rehab center. Contrast that with times past where my main goals for a Monday would have been to do laundry, mow the lawn, and figure out meals for the week. What is more meaningful at the end of the day? I want no regrets. Do I still have to do laundry, mow, and figure out menus? Of course! But they are not the focus of my day that gives my life meaning. Building relationships, meeting needs, being a light to whomever I can - these are the new focus of my day that gives my life meaning.
If you are asking yourself these same questions, and looking for meaning in your life - spend some time looking for the answers. Sometimes it takes a while to get them, but be persistent. You don't need to almost lose your life to wake up and do something more meaningful. Learn from my experience and find that greater joy now. The answers are inside of you. Like I shared last week, you can coax them out, you just have to want it bad enough to spend the energy hunting.