Running Red Lights

 Do you ever run red lights?  I do.  I try not to, but instead of slowing down when the light turns yellow, sometimes I speed up.  I don't want to sit and wait.  Do you do that?  

I have found that this does not necessarily get me ahead.  Sometimes I notice that I run a questionable light and the car behind me stops, only to catch up with me at the next light.  

Recently I ran a yellow-turned-red light that I should have stopped at.  I found myself behind a very slow public bus that I couldn't seem to get out from behind.  The cars on both sides were also going slow.  It was somewhat maddening.  I felt frustrated and annoyed.  As I was creeping along I wondered what would have happened if I had stopped at that light.  For one thing, I would have been far less frustrated sitting at the red light than creeping along, stuck, at five miles under the speed limit.  Also, when the light finally did turn green I would have been the first in line and could have accelerated to my desired speed at will.  

What is the lesson for me in all of this?  (Moment of introspection) 

I can keep running yellow-turned-red lights in hopes of getting to my destination a teeny tiny bit faster, risk getting a ticket, being involved in an accident, and being frustrated when the other cars don't maintain my desired speed, OR I can make a change.  

I could start slowing down at yellow lights and actually stopping when I'm supposed to.  I would feel better inside.  I wouldn't be looking around to see if there was a cop coming after me.  I wouldn't be risking an accident.  I would be the first one in line so I could choose my speed....all positives.  I guess it's just hard to stop when you're going full speed ahead, even when it makes total logical sense.

Of course this is also an analogy for life, and fairly easy to find where a positive change could be made.  Just look for the signs.  

Where and when in your life do you get frustrated most often?  

Where are other people "bugging" you because they are not doing what you want, when you want them to?  

When are you glancing around to see who is watching your behavior?  

AHA!  This is where to make a positive change.  

Think about it.  Mull it over.  Make a list of reasons to change, like I did about the light.  

Is it hard to stop current behavior, even when it doesn't serve you?  ABSOLUTELY.  

Is it worth it?  ABSOLUTELY.  Why?  Because you will stop feeling frustrated, irritated and worried.  Instead you will feel more content, calm and cool-headed.  You will feel happier.  Totally worth it.

So next time you see a strawberry blonde driving a pink car, sitting first in line at a red light, you'll know I figured it out.  

Don't Forget the Keys

 I was on my way out to the door.  My dad had had surgery the week before and was now in a rehab facility.  Because it was over an hour drive away, and because I was planning to stay for a few hours, I was thinking ahead.  I packed my breakfast protein shake, found and filled up my water bottle, grabbed the white sack containing his favorite brownies, got my coat, phone and purse and headed out the door.  What an armful.  I felt like I was hauling half the house!

As the garage door shut behind me I saw my car and realized I was missing something, something small but important.  I realized I wasn't actually going anywhere without my KEYS.  I was totally prepared, had what I needed for the trip, knew how to get there....but none of that did any good without that ONE crucial item.  Without putting the key in the ignition and turning it, nothing else was going to happen.  I unloaded my arms into the front seat and went back into the house to get them.  It struck me as ironic how I seemed so completely prepared, and yet missing one small thing was holding me back from getting where I wanted to go.  

Sometimes we do that in life.  We have something in mind we want to accomplish, a "destination" if you will, and come up with all kinds of plans and ideas on how to accomplish it, but fail to recognize the one key thing to really move us forward.  

What destination are you trying to reach?  What key thing are you missing?

No idea?  May I make a suggestion?

I believe that all the answers are inside of you.  Try this exercise:

Get a pen and paper.  Find a comfortable and quiet spot.  Close your eyes.  Empty your brain of all thoughts except for your destination.  Focus on where you want to go.  Keeping your intended destination in mind, ask your brain "How?"  Then wait.  Let your brain go where it will.  Don't guide it.  Don't try to consciously think of ideas. Just relax and let your brain do the work itself.  Write down any idea that comes.  Do not filter ideas.  Just write them.  Studies show that the best ideas come when we are doing nothing, so just sit there and let your brain work on it.  Give this exercise 10-15 minutes. Once you are done, execute any ideas that have come as soon as possible (making sure that they are legal, ethical and moral). 

This may be the key you have been missing.  Done regularly, you will find your brain knows exactly what you need in order to turn the key in the ignition, start the engine, and get going. 

Uphill Both Ways

 How can something possibly be uphill both ways?  It only makes sense that if you go uphill one way, when you turn around, or go down the other side you will be on the downhill, right?  Science tells us that what goes up must come down.  So there is no way something can be uphill both ways....until it is.  

Here's what happened: I started riding my bike (yes, it's another bike story) up a long uphill slope. 

 Each day my eyes tell me it is uphill.  

My legs, pumping the pedals, tell me its uphill.  

My heaving lungs tell me its uphill.  

I have science on my side.  Its definitely uphill....all the way.  At some point, I reach the summit and turn around to come back down. 

I am looking forward to the break.  My legs are burning.  My lungs are burning.  I am gasping for each breath.  As I go back down the slow decline my eyes tell me I am now going downhill.  My legs, however, beg to differ.  They are still having to pedal as though I am going uphill.  My lungs agree.  They are working much too hard.  Where is the coasting my eyes are telling them should be happening?

It turns out that I am at the mouth of a canyon, and there is always a wind blowing through that canyon.  On the uphill the wind is at my back, though the incline is still very strenuous for me.  On the way back the wind is blowing against me, preventing me from coasting down the hill.  Instead, I must pedal against the wind to keep moving forward.  

The first time this happened I was very disappointed.  I thought the way back was going to be easy.  Instead I got just the opposite.  "Not fair!" I thought.  "I earned this break!  Its not supposed to be this way!"  But it is.  

Do you ever feel that way, like life is uphill both ways?  

And just when you have reached the point where things are supposed to get easier, they don't?  "Not fair!" we say.  "I earned this break!  Its not supposed to be this way!"  But it is.

 I remember this with raising children.  "Once you get everyone out of diapers it gets easier" I was told.  "Once all the children are in school".  And then, "Once they get a little older." and so on.   I kept waiting for the downhill.  But it didn't come.  Instead I got teenagers.  Regardless of what I was expecting to 'see', life felt uphill both ways.

As I look at things now from a distance, as though looking back on my life and the ride I have chosen, what good has come of so much effort?

I am stronger.  Much stronger.  So much better equipped to handle big uphill's than I ever would have been from coasting half the time.  

I feel more self assured.  I know I can do really hard things.  I've done really hard things.  And lived to tell about it.

The best part though, is how much I appreciate the true downhills.  Had I gotten what I expected all along, I never would have appreciated the easy times, the rests and lulls that actually do come. They are like unexpected gifts that make life (and bike rides) very sweet,  rich and full.  

Would I prefer to be weak, less self assured and entitled?  Not in a million years.  I like who I am and what I have come through.  It has made me who I am.  The burning legs and lungs of life have been worth it. 

So if you are pedaling uphill, or against the wind, keep moving forward.  Don't give up.  It is worth it.  

WOW!

 Celebration time!  This is my 100th published blog post!  And today's topic could not be more perfect!  

Let me start with a story:

I'm generally a runner.  That's how I get my cardio in.  Jogger might be closer to the truth, lol!  I have been running since 7th grade junior high when our P.E. teacher made us run a mile for the first time in my life, and I literally collapsed at the finish line.  I thought I was going to die.  Right then I decided I was going to conquer running.  I started running around my neighborhood.  I got my sister to run with me.  By the time I graduated from high school I could run five miles without stopping, which may not seem huge to a "real" runner, but compared to collapsing after a mile, it was a great victory!  It has been my mode of cardio ever since.  

About two months ago I  developed popliteal tendinitis behind my right knee.  Within days I was literally not able to run without extreme pain.  Walking was even a challenge.  The timing was not good.  Normally I would just take some time off, but I was smack in the middle of a weight release goal, and I was no way going to put that on hold.  It's hard enough to begin such a journey, and I was having great success.  I was not going to quit.  But I needed cardio in order to be successful.  So I found another way.  I switched to biking.  

My son is a talented mountain biker, and my husband has also biked off and on for many years.  I remembered we had an old (rusty) ten-speed bike under the deck.  I got it out and dusted it off.  My husband put air in the tires, and off I went to see if it would work.  It did.  More importantly, it didn't hurt my leg to ride a bike, and so I started biking.  First it was just around the neighborhood, then a little way up the long hill by my house that I mentioned a couple weeks ago.  Now I can go all the way up the hill, and much further even.  I discovered that I love biking!  It has been a great solution to my cardio problem.

A few years ago I attended a seminar where I was introduced to the concept of WOW.  It imperfectly stands for What's Another Way?  When something in our life changes in a way we don't want, we may want to sit down on the floor and pout, maybe even throw a tantrum and cry.  But then, we can either stay there, or we can get up and figure out 'what's another way'.  

I've had SO many instances in my life where something great and maybe even inspired ended,  or turned sour, and I've had to figure out 'what's another way'.  

Take for example, not just my way of getting cardio in, but the perfect nursing job that wasn't after a while, or the business my husband started and ran for 15 years until the recession hit and brought us to our knees.  And just because something is right for the moment, doesn't mean it will always be right. And just because something IS right, doesn't mean it will be easy or perfect.  In fact, it won't.   Sometimes we have to pivot.  Sometimes we have to turn a corner.  Sometimes we have to change directions and go down a different road.  And that's okay.  It's a bit unsettling, but it's okay.  

If you haven't read the book, "Who Moved My Cheese" I would highly recommend it.  It's all about WOW.  

Is there something currently in your life where WOW could help?

As you look backwards, what WOW things have you done?

It's okay to mourn a change you didn't want.  Go through the mourning.  But then get up off the floor, dust yourself off and ask "What's another way?".  You've got this. ♥