Live Angels

In the last 24 hours I have been witness to a series of miraculously angelic events.

Last night my 18-year-old daughter Madelynn went to the store to buy a couple of items. While she was there, a man who was looking at flowers stopped her and asked her opinion. She gave it, and went on shopping. Later, as she walked through the parking lot to her car, the same man approached her and handed her the flowers, then disappeared into the night. Who does that? Angels. What he couldn’t possibly have known was that Madelynn was having a rough evening, and it meant a great deal more than it normally would have. 

Today, this same daughter went to Panda Express to get lunch, something that she doesn’t normally allow herself. She is walking with a cane because of her still un-diagnosed pain. The young man working at the checkout counter unexpectedly offered her a free fountain drink.  Who does that? Angels.  She was very surprised and grateful. She later noticed on her receipt that he had also given her the meal with his employee discount, another angelic act. Madelynn marveled that she had not only been given flowers by a stranger, but within 24 hours a free drink and a discounted meal by a different kind person.

As Madelynn was filling up her free fountain drink, she was approached by a girl, probably in her 20's, who asked where she had gotten her cane. She was hoping to buy one like it for her mom.  The cane Madelynn was carrying had been given to her by an older gentleman who makes them as a hobby, and had very generously been given to Madelynn as a gift (another angel).  This girl wanted something special for her mom, and thought one like Madelynn‘s  would be perfect. Madelynn felt prompted to give her the cane. At first the girl wouldn’t accept the gift, but after a little persuasion, she tearfully and gratefully accepted. Madelynn was so happy for the opportunity to be an angel to someone else.  It was a blessing for both of them. 

 Last night I got motivated to clean out some food storage I needed to get rid of in preparation to finish our basement. We had WAY too much with our kids all grown and mostly gone. I posted it for free on our Stake Facebook page. Several people came to pick some up.  The last woman who came was so happy to take everything I had left. She told me that she had literally been praying earlier that day that she would somehow be able to get more food storage, something that had been weighing on her mind, and that she wanted.   The same day a friend of hers saw my post, called her and gave her my contact information. She left that night from my house with her van loaded with cases and cases of long-term storage. It was an answer to her prayers, and a blessing to me. How did that happen? I felt like an angel to her, and she felt like an angel to me. 

One more: A few weeks ago I offered to help my friend who was getting ready to move. She said the most helpful thing I could do would be to get rid of her food storage for her. She had nine buckets of wheat. She asked if I could find some place that could feed it to animals. I posted it on Facebook. Another friend of mine responded that there was a Canadian geese bird refuge in Salt Lake that would be very grateful to have the wheat. I then realize that I needed to get rid of fifty, yes fifty, old buckets of my own wheat as well as my friend’s. Instead of just telling me about this place, my  friend and her husband hitched up a large trailer that they had to modify in order to accommodate us, drove over to my house, helped load 59 buckets wheat, (no small task)and drove it to Salt Lake for me, where they then had to unload it to drop it off. This is something I could not have done for myself. WHO DOES THAT? Angels.

You never know when your thought to do something kind, yes maybe even unusual for someone else will be just what they need. Maybe you are being prompted to be their angel, a living angel. 

How to Have a GREAT Valentine's Day

Last week I promised that you could tune in this week for a great way to start chipping that plaster off your soul, but I HAVE to write this Valentine's post, so last week's tune-in is now next week's tune-in, and this week's post is about YOU and Valentine's day.

Do you want to have a happy Valentine's day?  Of course you do.... everyone does!  I am bursting at the seams to tell you how!  Are you ready?

Here is how:

First, don't focus on whether anyone is going to give you a Valentine or do something special for you.  I know that is hard, but trust me.

Second, think about whose day you would like to make special on Valentine's day.  Make the day about who you can love, not about what you may be missing out on.  BE THE VALENTINE. It's more fun than you think!

Here are some ideas about how to be the Valentine (this works whether you are single, married, have kids or not, and anything in-between) Pick one or two of the ideas below, or think of your own:

♥Make a list of all the great people in your life.  You will be amazed at how good you have it.

♥Make or buy treats and leave them on your kids or spouses beds, your co-workers desk, or a friend's doorstep.  You may even want to leave a note.

♥Buy a bouquet of flowers and take one flower to each friend, child, sibling, neighbor, or hand them out randomly to strangers.  Or give the whole bouquet to one person.

♥Make a special dinner for your spouse or children or some friends.  If spending a lot of time cooking is not your thing, make whatever you have special with a bottle of sparkling cider, or a fun dessert, or even just tint the milk pink with food coloring.  Kids especially think anything unusual is fun!

♥Gift yourself the time to read an uplifting story or book, or allow yourself some other splurge you wouldn't normally do.

♥Buy one or more candy bars and give them to random people and tell them Happy Valentine's day, or take one or more to someone you care about.

♥Have fun dressing like a valentine (examples included here).  Fun earrings, red or pink jewelry, anything red, pink, purple, white, grey or black in combo is fun.  (I personally set a goal to wear something pink every day this month, but then pink is my favorite color.)

♥Buy an inexpensive and cute container at the dollar store and fill it with something to give to someone.

♥Write someone meaningful to you a special note telling them why they are important in your life.

♥Doorbell ditch something yummy or fun to your neighbors or friends.

♥If you don't have someone that does something for you on Valentine's day, do something for yourself.  I have a friend who gives herself a present and a box of chocolates every year.  She even wraps the present ahead of time so she has something fun to open.  Maybe a bath bomb and candlelight soak in the tub is your style, or maybe your favorite chocolates and a great movie.  Whatever it is that would be fun for you, make it happen. Don't sit around wishing someone else would make it happen for you.


The list could go on and on.  Please comment below with your own ideas!

When you stop waiting for someone to make your day special, and you go out and make other people's day special you will find that you are a lot more happy and filled with love than you could have imagined.  Make this Valentine's day about who YOU can love instead of sitting around wondering who is going to show love to you.  I promise it will make all the difference in the world.

You Too Are Priceless

Do you know the fascinating true story about the golden Buddha?  700 years ago a solid gold Buddha was built by monks in Thailand.  It was placed in a great temple there.  Then in the 1700's Thailand was invaded by Burma and the capitol city and many temples were burned to the ground.  In one city a brick Buddha covered in gold was melted down by the invaders.  In order to save their solid golden Buddha from being taken and melted down by the Burmese, monks carefully covered it with a plaster covering to make it look like a plaster image instead of a golden one.  Their plan worked.  The image was completely ignored by their captors.  Over the course of many years it was completely forgotten that the Buddha was made of anything but plaster.  In the 1950's in the process of moving the Buddha to a new location, a rope broke and the Buddha fell hard to the ground, cracking the plaster.  As the movers examined the damage they discovered something gold colored and shiny underneath.  Carefully the plaster was removed to reveal the solid gold Buddha underneath that had been hidden for several centuries.  It has now been named one of the wonders of the world, and considered priceless.  Today the Buddha in all its glory sits at Wat Traimitrwittararam, Thailand where many people can visit and enjoy it.

We are also priceless inside.  Many of us know only our outer covering that covers the beauty of who we truly are inside.  I know this because I used to think all there was to me was the plaster outer covering.  I did not know I was priceless gold inside, and that each of us is priceless.  

I have always had a problem seeing my value.  I remember for years wondering why my husband married me.  What could he possibly see?  I felt I was not extremely talented at anything, and considered myself a mediocre and somewhat dull person.  I felt I had little to contribute to the world.  I felt I was surrounded by many bright and wonderful stars who could do anything this world needed so much better than I could, so why try?  

This last year I decided to really look inside and see why I felt this way.  I decided to use the tool I call "Because Papers" which I have written about previously on this blog.  My first because paper was entitled, "I Feel Inadequate Because...."  I wrote down everything I could think of.  I cried a lot.  I felt small and worthless.  The next day I went back and read my paper, looking for a new perspective.  My second title became: "My Mother Was Wrong Because....." (OUCH).  I realized I had interpreted who I was through my mother's  eyes, or my perception of what she thought I was.  How could I still think that way at 52 years old??  I have no idea, but old wounds run very deep.  I wrote everything I could think of, and cried some more.  

On day three I read through my last paper, looking for a new perspective.  My third and last paper became titled, "I Am Very Precious Because.....".  As I wrote what came to my mind I knew it was inspired, and I knew it was not just for me, but is for all of us.  So today I choose to share with you why you truly are made of gold on the inside, no matter what outer covering you may have.  This paper is very special to me.  It is when I first truly knew that I was golden inside, and that everyone is.  Here it is, unedited:

"I am very precious because......(precious: something of great value, not to be wasted or treated carelessly, rare and of great worth):

I am the literal daughter of the King of the Universe - God, our Heavenly Father.  I have all value just in my creation alone.  

I am treasured by my Heavenly Father. 

 I truly have infinite worth.  Because I have been given the rare gift of the gospel and the Holy Ghost as a constant companion, I have been equipped to do anything and everything that is good and that God wants me to do.  

Through God I am unstoppable and fully capable of doing all that He prompts me to do. 

 I can act in all confidence, and move forward in any capacity with full assurance that I am an agent for good in the world under His direction.  

I will follow and trust God with all my heart because I know how valuable I am.  

I will move forward quickly and in all assurance.  

I have been empowered.  

I am the daughter of the King of heaven and earth.  I am truly called to spread God's light."

You too have been created by the God of the Universe.  You are his child.  You are priceless.  That's just who you are.  No one can change that.  Has who you truly are been hidden for so long that you have forgotten?  Do you see your plaster outer covering and think that is all there is to you?  I did.  But now I know the truth.  The plaster was cracked and is being chipped away and who I truly am is emerging.  You are golden too, we all are.  Find a way to crack the plaster and start chipping it off to reveal the golden you underneath, the real you.... priceless.  

p.s. Tune in next week for one awesome way to start chipping the plaster off!

You Can't Go Over It. Oh, No! You've Got to Go Through It!

Yesterday I drove to Idaho.  I did not even think to check the weather before planning this trip, especially since we haven't had any weather to speak of pretty much this whole winter.  As I got into my car I noticed a slight amount of rain on my windshield.  I checked the weather on my phone as I started my car.  The forecast was rain all day.  I didn't think much of it.  I figured we would be lucky to get a few drops the way things have been going, and off we went.  As we drove I commented to my two passengers that I hate driving in snowy conditions and will pretty much cancel any plans to avoid driving in snow.  I also mentioned that my second least favorite weather to drive in is heavy rain. 

About an hour into our drive it started to rain, just lightly.  Half an hour later it began to snow.  About this time I missed a turn.  We did not notice this for a good 15-20 minutes.  By the time we did we were approaching Snowville (ironically enough) and the snow had started to pack the road.  In order to get where we were going we had to turn at Snowville and take back roads to our destination, another 40 minutes away.  The speed limit was 60 mph, but because of the snow packed roads I had to drive much slower.  At times I could not see the lines on the road or be sure where the road ended and the field on the side of the road began.  It was pretty scary.  As though that wasn't enough we had to climb a summit on a winding road that at one point had a sign that said "chain up area ahead" (um, no chains on board) and then try not to slide down and off the other side of the summit.  I was extremely grateful for good tires. 

I have pretty much committed never to drive in snow due to some close calls in the past.  Yet, despite my commitment here I was in another precarious snowy driving situation.  I very much wanted out of that situation.  I felt like the family in the book "We're Going on a Bear Hunt" where it says, "You can't go over it.  You can't go under it.  Oh, no!  You've got to go through it!"  Yep, that's just how it was.  I couldn't get out of it.  I had to go through it.

While I was driving I thought about how difficult things in life are like my driving experience in the snow.  We do what we can to avoid getting into those difficult situations, but we can't always see them coming.  We can't see that far ahead of us.  Then when we find ourselves in the middle of something we didn't choose and didn't want we realize that we can't go over it, we can't go under it.  Oh no!  We've got to go through it!  We have to endure and navigate the best we can, and just keep going until the storm passes.  And it feels like it will never pass.  This has happened to me many times.  I am sure you know what I am talking about.  (I wish we could sit down and share our experiences with each other, and how we finally did come out on the other side of the storm.  I would love to know your story!)

We finally did reach our destination, thankfully in one piece.  Though at times I wondered if the white roads would really ever end, or whether we would just keep going and going and never really reach our destination.

Whatever difficult times you are facing in your life, whatever snow packed, precarious and scary things are in front of you, just keep going.  You can't go over it.  You can't go under it.  Oh no!  You've got to go through it!  Trust that it won't be this way forever.  The storm will eventually end.  Hold on to that.

P.S.  By the time we headed home the roads had been plowed and we went a different way to avoid the summit.  However, we had heavy rain the whole way home, my second least favorite.  But we survived the storm and got home safely, which in the end is the thing that matters most.

Who Are You and What Do You Think?

Are you the kind of person who loves to sit down on January first and set new goals for the year, or are you the kind of person that doesn't set goals because you don't want to be tied down to anything specific?  Maybe you are the kind of person that  doesn't need a specific date.  You set a goal whenever something comes up that you want to accomplish. Or have you decided not to set goals because it's not worth the ding to your ego should you not accomplish them?

Every once in a while I learn something that causes an "aha" moment for me.  It's usually something earth shattering in the way I see the world.  This year I got a book for Christmas that has created a huge "aha" experience for me. 

In my mind I know that not everybody thinks the same way.  Yet in my day-to-day practicum of life, I tend to forget that.  This often leads me to misunderstand or misinterpret the actions and thinking of others.  My new book "The 4 Tendencies" is one of those personality books that help you understand the way people are, like "The Color Code", or "The 5 Love Languages", or the series of books by Carol Tuttle, or the Myers-Briggs personality test.  "The 4 Tendencies" focuses solely on one aspect of people's personalities - why we act or why we don't act.  As it turns out, not everyone loves to sit down on New Year's Day and evaluate the past year and set goals for the new year..........which thing I had never supposed.  Even my own husband pointed out to me that he never sets goals on New Year's Day.  He sets them whenever during the year he pleases, whenever something comes up.  Hmmmmm.  After 30 years of marriage how had I not noticed this?

What I love about personality books is that they seek to help us understand ourselves and understand others.  When we understand things about ourselves it helps us to be happier.  When we understand others it helps us to appreciate who they are and why they do what they do. It helps improve relationships. 

For example, from the Myers-Briggs personality test I learned about myself that while I LOVE people, social situations drain me.  Knowing this about myself helps me to gear up for social situations, and gives me permission to come home and crash afterward. 

From The 5 Love Languages I learned what says "I love you" to my husband, myself, my children and others around me. 

From the Color Code I learned what my strengths and weaknesses are in certain areas, as well as those of my husband and others.  I learned in what ways we are alike, and how we are different. 

From books by Carol Tuttle (Dressing Your Truth) I learned how my energy flows, what energizes me, and what looks good on me to accentuate my personality.  There were things in her personality profiles that shocked me.  I remember thinking, "She couldn't possibly know this about me!" or "Oh, that explains why I do that!"  Several times I called my husband in and said, "Listen to this!"  We were both surprised at the uncanny small things that fit each personality profile. 

I am not very far into this latest personality book, but I am already very intrigued by what I have learned.  I naturally assumed that EVERYONE sets new years resolutions.  Now I am learning that people do goals as well as just about everything else in life for certain reasons, and not necessarily the same reasons I have. 

I realize that some of you hate to be categorized.  You don't want to be stereotyped.  If it helps, I look at it more like learning about yourself, seeing what fits and what doesn't in order to understand yourself and those around you better.  And while not everyone wants to be stereotyped, everyone does want to be understood.

As we head into the new year, I encourage you to spend some time exploring and seeking to understand yourself and those around you better.  Doing so leads to better relationships and happier lives, and we all want that.

A Smile for Christmas

Today I read a thought from a young friend of mine.  It was his honesty thought for the day on Facebook.  He said, "A smile seems small to a happy man.  But a smile seems like the sun in a world of darkness to a man who needs it.  Smile."

This struck me because just yesterday I experienced the down side of this thought.  I was the one who felt the darkness and needed the smiles.  I am happy most of the time and it is pretty easy to smile and be friendly.  But yesterday I felt a touch of depression, that old familiar darkness, something I have not struggled with much for a long time.  It reminded me how much most of us struggle at times.  My friend's statement is so very true.  When I feel happy inside it is so easy to smile, and seems so small.  But when I have been struggling, it takes great energy to smile at someone else, and a smile given from someone else impacts so much deeper. 

Years ago I went through a depression that made it hard to keep going every day.  Some of you have had similar struggles.  There are many reasons for people to struggle with depression.  I believe mine was brought on by a combination of chemical and situation.  There were many dark days when even the simplest of stresses felt completely overwhelming.  As I began to heal there were gradually good days mixed with the bad.  Eventually there were more good days than bad days, and much later mostly good days with an occasional hard day.  For those in that dark place right now, this season of the year can magnify those feelings and struggles even more.

If you are in a place where you can share your smiles easily this season, be grateful and share generously.  You will most likely never know the depth of your impact.  If you are not in a place to give in that way, just hang in there and receive generously the smiles that are shared with you.  Let them go in.  Let them shine a sliver of light inside of you. 

Of all the things you will give this season, a smile may mean more than you know.

How to Make the Season Go Slow

Every year around this time my husband says to me, "This is my favorite time of year.  Let's make the season go slow."  Every year the season does NOT go slow, and on New Year's Day he is always sad that the holidays are over.

Is it possible to slow down the season and make it last?  I would like to suggest that it is.  I have learned a few valuable things to help.

Be aware of what makes this time of year feel special to you.  Take music for example.  One year I discovered that playing Christmas hymns while my children were falling asleep brought that special feeling.  I played hymns on the piano each evening that December, and Christmas felt very special.  The next year I remembered that Christmas music had made the season feel special the year before, so I turned on some Christmas music throughout the day in hopes of recapturing that same feeling.  I quickly discovered that songs like "Santa Baby" and "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" did not bring the same spirit to my home that songs like "O Holy Night" and "Angels We Have Heard On High" did.  I figured out which kinds of Christmas music gave me that magic Christmas feeling, and which did not.

What are the things that you enjoy doing this time of year?  Some people love holiday parties, while other people find them cumbersome and only go out of obligation.  Spend time doing the things that you love and let the rest go.  Most people find there is so much to do that they are scheduled beyond their capacity.  Feel free to pick and choose what is enjoyable and meaningful to you, and don't feel obligated to attend every single event that is offered.

Be very intentional about being present in what you do.  Eat that special holiday treat slowly in small bites and really savor it.  Notice and enjoy the holiday music playing in the stores, and the way the community is decorated.  Enjoy the opportunity to buy people presents.  Take joy in picking them out and wrapping them.  Play Christmas music while wrapping. Soak up and enjoy the moment at music concerts.   Pay attention to people being friendly, and be friendly too.  Appreciate being able to be with friends and family at holiday events, and cherish your time with them.  You will not get these exact moments again.  Children grow and change.  Sometimes people move or pass away.   Cherish this time together.  Take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy.

Finally, at the end of every day when you are laying in bed and before you fall asleep pick a favorite thing about your day.  You may be surprised at the joy this can bring you, and the sweet things about the holidays that you will be able to savor.

It's a wonderful time of year.  Slow down and savor it.