My Almost Last Day

Tuesday, April 24, 2018 was my almost last day.  It started out differently than normal.  During the night I had dreamed that my dad had died and had come to talk to me in my room.  I don't remember what he said in my dream, but he was very serious and did not smile.  Then he faded slowly until I could not see him.  When I woke up Tuesday morning I felt a great urgency to go to the temple.  I had planned to go sometime during the day, but had not decided when.  I felt the urgency so much that I did not eat breakfast or put my makeup on.  I just prayed, got dressed and went.

When I arrived at the temple I wanted to be in the area where I knew my dad would be working that day.  I still felt the urge to hurry, so I changed and went to the area where he was.  I was ushered into the room where he was working, and was able to give him a quick hug, which made me feel better.   Little did I know that I was the one who would almost die that day. Within just 3-4 minutes my father was needed elsewhere and left the room.  It turns out I was greatly needed that morning to help with the work that was being done, and I was glad I had followed the urge to hurry and get there.  As I left the temple later, I felt very glad that I had come when I did.  I was needed at the particular time AND I got to see my dad.

I spent most of the rest of the morning preparing for a class I was teaching at a nearby drug and alcohol treatment center.  I try to be very in-tune to know what to teach each time I go.  My daughter Madelynn was able to come with me, and we had a great time being with the wonderful warriors there who are fighting for their lives.  It is truly a privilege to know them, and always makes my day when I get to be with them.

Around 4 p.m. my son-in-law Marco showed up to help me.  We are finishing our basement and the plan was to cut our concrete floor to make way for new pipes for a bathroom and kitchen.  He began cutting with his Quickie saw, while my other son and I hooked up and turned on the hose that attaches to the saw to keep the concrete dust down.  Marco was running low on fuel, so I ran to Home Depot to get more.  When I returned there was a lot of water on the floor.  I found our shop vac, hooked it up and began sucking up the water.  By this time Marco had been downstairs cutting for nearly an hour.  I was able to suck up most of the water in about 20 minutes.  At one point I sat on the stairs and watched Marco work, and waited for enough water to accumulate to get up and start working again.  I considered going upstairs to do other things and then come back in a few minutes, but for some reason I decided to just stay and wait.  Soon I was back to sucking water while Marco stopped and evaluated the next place he would need to cut.  When I turned around Marco was laying on his back.  I figured his back was hurting from bending over the saw for so long, but when I went over to him he was non-responsive.  I shook him but he would not wake up.  I reached for my phone but did not have it on me.  I had absolutely no idea where I had left it.  I tore up the stairs and screamed for help, not even knowing if anyone else was home.  Luckily two of my children responded, and my daughter-in-law called 911.  I raced back down to the basement to be with Marco.  I checked him.  His heart was beating and he was breathing.  I tried to wake him.  Finally he awoke and sat up.  He thought maybe his respirator was too tight around his neck and had cut off his circulation.  He didn't think that I needed to send for an ambulance.

When the paramedics arrived 5 big guys came down the stairs.  I told them what had happened and they started to check Marco.  I had been sitting by him, but I was in their way, so one of them took my hand to help me up.  As he did, I suddenly felt very dizzy and could not lift my arm.  Then everything went black.  I could hear the paramedics yelling that we needed to get everyone out, and there was a frantic flurry to lift us and get us up the stairs.  I then lost all consciousness until I was outside on the driveway.  I looked over and Marco was slumped against the leg of a paramedic.  I wanted to lay down so badly, but the paramedic attending to me kept me sitting up most of the time.  I was in and out of consciousness.  I remember worrying about who was going to pick up the grand kids and something about the dinner that was in the crock pot.  I heard the paramedics say we had carbon monoxide poisoning.  I remember being in the ambulance, and that my paramedics name was Trevor and that he wore funny glasses.  I had oxygen on.  Then I was at the emergency room at Utah Valley Hospital.  Someone put an IV in me, and my blood pressure cuff kept squeezing my arm.  They kept asking me the same questions over and over.  I worried about Marco.  They told me he was a few doors down.  More things happened, but it is all very spotty.  I remember my nurse was pregnant, and that someone came in to talk to me about finances since we don't have insurance.  (Yep, we became self-employed on February 1st and didn't get insurance.)  I remember a doctor came in and that he tried to shake my hand but I couldn't lift my arm or keep my eyes open.  I remember that I hated my oxygen mask, but every time I took it off I got very dizzy.

Then they put me in a wheelchair and took Marco and I to another part of the hospital where they had these long clear tubes lined up along one side of the room like something out of an alien science fiction movie.  A nurse helped me change into a hospital gown, and Marco and I were put on gurneys and wheeled into the tubes, where they closed and sealed the doors.  The chambers were then pressurized with oxygen to force the carbon monoxide off of our red blood cells. We had to stay inside for a couple of hours.  Luckily they put on a movie.  We each got our own.  I have tried to remember for the last few hours what movie my son picked out for me.  I finally remember, it was Sleepless in Seattle.  I watched the whole movie, but can hardly remember it.

After we got out of the tubes, called hyperbaric chambers, they did a bunch of tests on us.  They had us put one foot right in front of another, cross our arms, close our eyes and try to keep our balance.  I totally couldn't do it, but before they put us in I couldn't even stand up, so it was still an improvement.  We had to try to count backwards from 100 by 7's, flip our hand back and forth as fast as we could against our other hand, and probably a couple of other tests I can't remember.  I pretty much failed them all, but at least I could walk and stay awake, and respond coherently.

We went back to the hospital early the next morning and spend most of the next day in the hyperbaric chambers watching movies and having lots more tests before we were finally released.

The doctors told us that had Marco been in that basement 10 more minutes he would have died.  We realized that had I gone upstairs instead of sitting and waiting for more water to accumulate and not come back right away, OR if my children Chad and Ashley had not been home to call 911, one or both of us would have died.  We were told that when your blood level reaches 50% carbon monoxide you can die.  Marco's blood level was at 45% when he reached the hospital.  Mine was at 29%.  We were both completely incapacitated.  It happened SO fast.  It did not come on slowly.  We both went from being fine to collapsing in just a few seconds each.  We had no idea that using gas-powered tools indoors could do that.  Please don't make the same mistake we did!

As I think back about my almost last day........ if it would have been my last day it would have been an unusually good one to end on.  I followed promptings, went to the temple, served others, taught good things to great people, spent time with my daughter, and even put dinner in the crock pot.  (I'm never that on the ball)  It would have been a good note to end on, but I am so glad God has allowed me to have the chance to live, to be with my husband, children, grandchildren and friends, and have more good days, bad days, and everything in-between!

For the news clip they did, visit the link below:

http://ksltv.com/394549/orem-family-warns-carbon-monoxide-poisoning-near-death-experience/

Cat With an Attitude

We have a cat.  She has life pretty good.  She can wander in and out of the house whenever she wants during the day.  Her food and water dish are always full and available whenever she is hungry or thirsty.  She has a warm and comfortable place to sleep in the garage at night.  Someone is always around to give her a little back scratch when she wants one (and only when SHE wants one).  Yep, life is pretty good.  But somehow she still wants more.  She wants me to fill the sink in the bathroom for her to drink from so she doesn't have to go all the way downstairs to get a drink.  She will sit by the sink and meow and meow in hopes that someone will do this for her.  She has lots of plush carpet to relax on all day long, and even a heated tile floor, but she constantly tries to make my bed her hang-out spot, or one of the couches that she is not allowed on.  I am constantly kicking her off, by which she is always completely offended.

This morning after literally just filling up her water dish downstairs while she was standing right there, she went right up to the bathroom sink and started meowing.  Sheesh!  She has it a lot better than a lot of other cats in the world, but still she is not satisfied.  She wants more, better, softer, more convenient.

Then the thought struck me like lightening, "I wonder if I'm like that?"  I started to think.  I have life pretty good.  I have food and water available whenever I am hungry or thirsty.  I have a comfortable and wonderful home to live in.  Someone is always around to listen and to meet my needs.  I have everything I could want in a very short radius around me.  Yep, life is pretty good.  Am I satisfied with my life, or do I always want more?

Then I began to wonder if wanting more is a bad thing.  (Wish you were here so we could have a conversation about this, but since you aren't, I have to reason it out for myself:)  I feel like wanting more can go either way.  If you feel like you are not satisfied with your life, if you have an attitude that you deserve more, feeling that everyone else has more than you do and you are getting gypped, and enough is never enough, then yes, wanting more is probably not a good thing.  It means you will never truly be satisfied or be happy with what you have.

On the other hand, if you want more so that you can give your children or others a better life, so that you can serve and help, so that you can relief suffering, so that you can have needs met, so that you can live and give more abundantly, then I believe wanting more is a good thing.  People with this type of wanting more are already happy in their circumstances and grateful for what they have.  It's a completely different mindset.

I wonder what mindset my cat has..........and what about me?  And what about you?

Prayer and Brownies

When I pray for something, I usually want it right now.  I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.  I recently heard a young man describe how prayer and brownies are alike: When you start craving brownies you wish you could have them magically appear right when you think of them so you could enjoy them immediately.  But that is not how it works.  You have to go through the steps to get them.  You have to make the dough, then patiently wait for them to cook and cool (at least a little).  Finally, after going through the steps, you get to have brownies.  Yum!

Prayer often works the same way.  You want something, and pray about it and ask for it, and wish it could magically appear immediately, but that is not the way it happens. (At least not usually.)  You have to go through the steps.  You ask, but then you have to do your part.  You have to work and do all you can to make it happen, and then you must wait patiently for God (or whatever your higher power is) to do the rest.  

We are in this very process now... this process of waiting.  As you may know, my 18-year-old daughter Madelynn has been struggling with severe joint pain throughout her body since January of 2017.  We have tried to do our part.  We have prayed, we have fasted, we have taken her to traditional doctors of different kinds.  We have taken her to non-traditional doctors of different kinds.  We have taken her to energy workers, foot zoners and therapists.  Still we have no answers.  And so we wait.  We wait patiently (most of the time).  We continue to do our part.  We continue to take her to doctors, and try pills, supplements and foot soaks.  We continue to research and pray and wait.  Just like the brownies, we want our answer and our help now.  But it just doesn't work that way most of the time.  As Jeffery Holland once said,  "Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven..."  but they do come. 

I have a close friend whose children are grown.  She and her husband wanted to downsize and get a house with an apartment in the basement to provide some residual income.  When praying they felt good about this move.  They did their part.  They remodeled their home and put it on the market.  It did not sell.  And it did not sell.  They lowered the price.  Still it did not sell.  They changed realtors.  Still it did not sell.  Just when it felt like it would never happen, and after months and months of doing their part and waiting, they got an offer.   They were thrilled!  They began looking at houses to move into.  They looked and looked and looked.  They could not find a house they liked that fit their criteria.  Soon they were down to having to be out of the house in 2 weeks, and still nothing.  They looked at renting an apartment.  They looked at staying with relatives.  They looked at buying a condo. 

One night the realtor called and told them about yet another house that had just been posted.  They went and looked at it the next morning.  It was perfect!  It had a basement apartment already finished and ready to go.  It was in a good neighborhood.  It was in their price range.  They made the offer.  Then, as if frosting on top, the family could be out in 2 weeks! Just when it felt like things were never going to work out, it all fell into place. 

Sometimes we have to wait, and it seems like forever - just like smelling the brownies and waiting for them to be done cooking and cooling, which also sometimes seems like forever.  

Whatever you are praying for, whatever you are waiting for, don't give up.  It might happen tomorrow, but it might not.  I agree with Jeffrey Holland, it might come soon, it might come late, it might not come until heaven, but it will come.  Good things come to those who wait.....who wait on their God.

What Goes Around Comes Around

Last week I went to help my daughter and son-in-law set up a booth at a local boutique.  Across the aisle was a lady named Debbie setting up a booth to sell scarves.  I was familiar with this booth and the woman who owned it.  She sells the most beautiful scarves you have ever seen, and teaches you great ways to wear them.  I had bought from her before, and just happened to be wearing one of her scarves that night, which of course I showed her and expressed how much I loved it.  As Debbie set up her booth and we set up ours, she ran across a scarf with a very small stain.  She told me she could not sell it and offered it to me.  I was thrilled and thanked her.   A few minutes later she came across another scarf that had come apart across the seam on one side.  She also offered me this scarf.  I was stunned, and joyfully accepted.

What this very nice woman could not possibly have known was that two months earlier I had been at a hospital visiting my dad when a sweet little Hispanic woman came into the room to do some cleaning.  I had also been wearing one of those beautiful scarves that day, a beautiful aqua-colored scarf.  She oohed and aahed over my scarf.  We chatted as she cleaned the room, then she left to go on with her work.  A little later as I was leaving I saw her down the hall getting ready to go into another patient's room.  The thought crossed my mind that she would love my scarf, and I considered giving it to her.  I stood and debated with myself in the hall.  I didn't have anything else like it, and I really liked it.  She really liked it too, and would surely appreciate having it.  She was such a sweet lady.  Before I fully knew what I was doing I found myself walking toward her and taking off the scarf and giving it to her with a smile.  It felt surreal.  Had I really just done that?  I could not take it back.  Yes, I had really done it, and the smile on her face was a mile wide......so worth it.

What struck me now, standing at the boutique, was that I had not only been paid back, I had just been paid back double.  As I stood between the booth we were setting up and the booth that Debbie was setting up, I decided to let her know how her scarves had blessed my life, and the lives of others as well.  I told her the story and pointed out that what goes around comes around.  She was touched and grateful I had shared with her.  A few minutes later she asked me what color the scarf was that I had given away.  When I told her she picked out a scarf that color and handed it to me.  I was shocked.  I felt like I couldn't accept it.  It was too much.  I felt weak in the knees at her generosity.  She insisted I take it.  I felt completely overwhelmed by her kindness and generosity.  I hugged and thanked her and secretly vowed to keep passing good karma around.

I have been guilty of scarcity thinking in the past, but I am truly learning that what goes around comes around.  I am finding that when I give generously I somehow always have what I need when I need it.

Instead of being like a dam of water holding onto whatever comes my way and trying to keep it all, I want to be like a stream, letting good things flow to me, around me, and on to others so that many can benefit.  What goes around comes around.

Live Angels

In the last 24 hours I have been witness to a series of miraculously angelic events.

Last night my 18-year-old daughter Madelynn went to the store to buy a couple of items. While she was there, a man who was looking at flowers stopped her and asked her opinion. She gave it, and went on shopping. Later, as she walked through the parking lot to her car, the same man approached her and handed her the flowers, then disappeared into the night. Who does that? Angels. What he couldn’t possibly have known was that Madelynn was having a rough evening, and it meant a great deal more than it normally would have. 

Today, this same daughter went to Panda Express to get lunch, something that she doesn’t normally allow herself. She is walking with a cane because of her still un-diagnosed pain. The young man working at the checkout counter unexpectedly offered her a free fountain drink.  Who does that? Angels.  She was very surprised and grateful. She later noticed on her receipt that he had also given her the meal with his employee discount, another angelic act. Madelynn marveled that she had not only been given flowers by a stranger, but within 24 hours a free drink and a discounted meal by a different kind person.

As Madelynn was filling up her free fountain drink, she was approached by a girl, probably in her 20's, who asked where she had gotten her cane. She was hoping to buy one like it for her mom.  The cane Madelynn was carrying had been given to her by an older gentleman who makes them as a hobby, and had very generously been given to Madelynn as a gift (another angel).  This girl wanted something special for her mom, and thought one like Madelynn‘s  would be perfect. Madelynn felt prompted to give her the cane. At first the girl wouldn’t accept the gift, but after a little persuasion, she tearfully and gratefully accepted. Madelynn was so happy for the opportunity to be an angel to someone else.  It was a blessing for both of them. 

 Last night I got motivated to clean out some food storage I needed to get rid of in preparation to finish our basement. We had WAY too much with our kids all grown and mostly gone. I posted it for free on our Stake Facebook page. Several people came to pick some up.  The last woman who came was so happy to take everything I had left. She told me that she had literally been praying earlier that day that she would somehow be able to get more food storage, something that had been weighing on her mind, and that she wanted.   The same day a friend of hers saw my post, called her and gave her my contact information. She left that night from my house with her van loaded with cases and cases of long-term storage. It was an answer to her prayers, and a blessing to me. How did that happen? I felt like an angel to her, and she felt like an angel to me. 

One more: A few weeks ago I offered to help my friend who was getting ready to move. She said the most helpful thing I could do would be to get rid of her food storage for her. She had nine buckets of wheat. She asked if I could find some place that could feed it to animals. I posted it on Facebook. Another friend of mine responded that there was a Canadian geese bird refuge in Salt Lake that would be very grateful to have the wheat. I then realize that I needed to get rid of fifty, yes fifty, old buckets of my own wheat as well as my friend’s. Instead of just telling me about this place, my  friend and her husband hitched up a large trailer that they had to modify in order to accommodate us, drove over to my house, helped load 59 buckets wheat, (no small task)and drove it to Salt Lake for me, where they then had to unload it to drop it off. This is something I could not have done for myself. WHO DOES THAT? Angels.

You never know when your thought to do something kind, yes maybe even unusual for someone else will be just what they need. Maybe you are being prompted to be their angel, a living angel. 

How to Have a GREAT Valentine's Day

Last week I promised that you could tune in this week for a great way to start chipping that plaster off your soul, but I HAVE to write this Valentine's post, so last week's tune-in is now next week's tune-in, and this week's post is about YOU and Valentine's day.

Do you want to have a happy Valentine's day?  Of course you do.... everyone does!  I am bursting at the seams to tell you how!  Are you ready?

Here is how:

First, don't focus on whether anyone is going to give you a Valentine or do something special for you.  I know that is hard, but trust me.

Second, think about whose day you would like to make special on Valentine's day.  Make the day about who you can love, not about what you may be missing out on.  BE THE VALENTINE. It's more fun than you think!

Here are some ideas about how to be the Valentine (this works whether you are single, married, have kids or not, and anything in-between) Pick one or two of the ideas below, or think of your own:

♥Make a list of all the great people in your life.  You will be amazed at how good you have it.

♥Make or buy treats and leave them on your kids or spouses beds, your co-workers desk, or a friend's doorstep.  You may even want to leave a note.

♥Buy a bouquet of flowers and take one flower to each friend, child, sibling, neighbor, or hand them out randomly to strangers.  Or give the whole bouquet to one person.

♥Make a special dinner for your spouse or children or some friends.  If spending a lot of time cooking is not your thing, make whatever you have special with a bottle of sparkling cider, or a fun dessert, or even just tint the milk pink with food coloring.  Kids especially think anything unusual is fun!

♥Gift yourself the time to read an uplifting story or book, or allow yourself some other splurge you wouldn't normally do.

♥Buy one or more candy bars and give them to random people and tell them Happy Valentine's day, or take one or more to someone you care about.

♥Have fun dressing like a valentine (examples included here).  Fun earrings, red or pink jewelry, anything red, pink, purple, white, grey or black in combo is fun.  (I personally set a goal to wear something pink every day this month, but then pink is my favorite color.)

♥Buy an inexpensive and cute container at the dollar store and fill it with something to give to someone.

♥Write someone meaningful to you a special note telling them why they are important in your life.

♥Doorbell ditch something yummy or fun to your neighbors or friends.

♥If you don't have someone that does something for you on Valentine's day, do something for yourself.  I have a friend who gives herself a present and a box of chocolates every year.  She even wraps the present ahead of time so she has something fun to open.  Maybe a bath bomb and candlelight soak in the tub is your style, or maybe your favorite chocolates and a great movie.  Whatever it is that would be fun for you, make it happen. Don't sit around wishing someone else would make it happen for you.


The list could go on and on.  Please comment below with your own ideas!

When you stop waiting for someone to make your day special, and you go out and make other people's day special you will find that you are a lot more happy and filled with love than you could have imagined.  Make this Valentine's day about who YOU can love instead of sitting around wondering who is going to show love to you.  I promise it will make all the difference in the world.

You Too Are Priceless

Do you know the fascinating true story about the golden Buddha?  700 years ago a solid gold Buddha was built by monks in Thailand.  It was placed in a great temple there.  Then in the 1700's Thailand was invaded by Burma and the capitol city and many temples were burned to the ground.  In one city a brick Buddha covered in gold was melted down by the invaders.  In order to save their solid golden Buddha from being taken and melted down by the Burmese, monks carefully covered it with a plaster covering to make it look like a plaster image instead of a golden one.  Their plan worked.  The image was completely ignored by their captors.  Over the course of many years it was completely forgotten that the Buddha was made of anything but plaster.  In the 1950's in the process of moving the Buddha to a new location, a rope broke and the Buddha fell hard to the ground, cracking the plaster.  As the movers examined the damage they discovered something gold colored and shiny underneath.  Carefully the plaster was removed to reveal the solid gold Buddha underneath that had been hidden for several centuries.  It has now been named one of the wonders of the world, and considered priceless.  Today the Buddha in all its glory sits at Wat Traimitrwittararam, Thailand where many people can visit and enjoy it.

We are also priceless inside.  Many of us know only our outer covering that covers the beauty of who we truly are inside.  I know this because I used to think all there was to me was the plaster outer covering.  I did not know I was priceless gold inside, and that each of us is priceless.  

I have always had a problem seeing my value.  I remember for years wondering why my husband married me.  What could he possibly see?  I felt I was not extremely talented at anything, and considered myself a mediocre and somewhat dull person.  I felt I had little to contribute to the world.  I felt I was surrounded by many bright and wonderful stars who could do anything this world needed so much better than I could, so why try?  

This last year I decided to really look inside and see why I felt this way.  I decided to use the tool I call "Because Papers" which I have written about previously on this blog.  My first because paper was entitled, "I Feel Inadequate Because...."  I wrote down everything I could think of.  I cried a lot.  I felt small and worthless.  The next day I went back and read my paper, looking for a new perspective.  My second title became: "My Mother Was Wrong Because....." (OUCH).  I realized I had interpreted who I was through my mother's  eyes, or my perception of what she thought I was.  How could I still think that way at 52 years old??  I have no idea, but old wounds run very deep.  I wrote everything I could think of, and cried some more.  

On day three I read through my last paper, looking for a new perspective.  My third and last paper became titled, "I Am Very Precious Because.....".  As I wrote what came to my mind I knew it was inspired, and I knew it was not just for me, but is for all of us.  So today I choose to share with you why you truly are made of gold on the inside, no matter what outer covering you may have.  This paper is very special to me.  It is when I first truly knew that I was golden inside, and that everyone is.  Here it is, unedited:

"I am very precious because......(precious: something of great value, not to be wasted or treated carelessly, rare and of great worth):

I am the literal daughter of the King of the Universe - God, our Heavenly Father.  I have all value just in my creation alone.  

I am treasured by my Heavenly Father. 

 I truly have infinite worth.  Because I have been given the rare gift of the gospel and the Holy Ghost as a constant companion, I have been equipped to do anything and everything that is good and that God wants me to do.  

Through God I am unstoppable and fully capable of doing all that He prompts me to do. 

 I can act in all confidence, and move forward in any capacity with full assurance that I am an agent for good in the world under His direction.  

I will follow and trust God with all my heart because I know how valuable I am.  

I will move forward quickly and in all assurance.  

I have been empowered.  

I am the daughter of the King of heaven and earth.  I am truly called to spread God's light."

You too have been created by the God of the Universe.  You are his child.  You are priceless.  That's just who you are.  No one can change that.  Has who you truly are been hidden for so long that you have forgotten?  Do you see your plaster outer covering and think that is all there is to you?  I did.  But now I know the truth.  The plaster was cracked and is being chipped away and who I truly am is emerging.  You are golden too, we all are.  Find a way to crack the plaster and start chipping it off to reveal the golden you underneath, the real you.... priceless.  

p.s. Tune in next week for one awesome way to start chipping the plaster off!