Giving It Away

 During a conversation with a friend, I was bemoaning what I thought I was missing in my life.  My wise friend suggested that I consider giving something away once or twice a week.  She taught me that it is a universal law that when you give you will also receive.  

I decided to give it a try.  I had nothing to lose.  Instead of once or twice a week, however, I decided to give something away every day for a month!  Each day I intentionally gave something away, and I kept track.  I found it somewhat challenging, and so much fun!  Some days I knew ahead of time what I was going to give.  Other days I looked throughout the day for an opportunity, and it came in the moment.  Here are some of my favorites:

• A candy bar to the cashier checking me out at the grocery store. 
• Homemade peach pie, zucchini bread and peaches to neighbors, family and friends.
• House cleaning to a grown daughter
• Babysitting to another grown daughter
• My place in line
• I gave grace to the car that cut me off
• The gift of time and an attentive listening ear to the person who needed to talk
• A whole day to help my husband on a project he was doing
• Lots of sincere compliments
• Hunted down a hard-to-find favorite fall treat for a friend and took it to her

At the end of the month, I had had so much fun I decided to keep going.  I just can't stop.  And what of  the things that I thought were missing in my life?  Somehow, things have been smoothed over, or maybe I'm just not looking at them any more.  Either way, I feel happy and content, which is what really counts anyway.  

I learned that the universal law my friend had taught me has several names, including the vacuum law of prosperity, the law of giving and receiving, and the law of circulation.  

Here it is in scripture form: Luke 6:38 says, "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again."  Isn't that beautiful!

You may be wondering what I have received for all my giving?  Among other things I have been given free tickets to a comedy club, books I had wished for that were literally left in a gift bag on my doorstep, treats, and much more.  Among the most valuable things I have received are a sense of peace and well-being, the kindness of others, and that awesome feeling that comes when you have served someone in a meaningful way and met a need they could not meet for themselves.  

Do you want to feel better, happier and more peaceful?  Try 30 days of giving.  You will be amazed.  Let me know how it goes.  

To Have a Delightful Day

 Do you ever have a day where everything just goes right?  

Yeah, me neither... but yesterday I did!  

I woke up in the morning and thought, "Today is going to be delightful!" (No, this is not standard practice for me. It was new.)  But on this particular day it just popped into my head, and I set an intention.  Then I got up and got going and forgot about it.  

I somehow had more time than usual in the morning.  I even did a little reading before church, completely unheard of!  The speakers at church seemed unusually good, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  The rest of the day followed suit, with pleasant conversations with my husband, more fun reading, and a wonderful dinner at our son and his girlfriend's house, complete with more enjoyable conversation.  At the close of the day I sat on the bed and rehearsed to my husband all the wonderful things about the day (also not normal for me).  It was just the best day!  

There are not that many days I would like to live over again. Out of every 365 days in a year, there are almost none I would repeat, but this day was one of them.  Why is that?   Why this one?  What made it different?

As I pondered this question, I remembered that I woke up and set the intention for a delightful day.  I wondered if that had something to do with it.  

 According to Sara Weand, LPC, "When setting an intention, it's like laying the foundation for what you'd like to have, feel and experience versus just being a passive participant going through the motions.  Intentions provide you with the opportunity to actively participate in your life the way you want to live it."  

While I cannot control all the aspects of my day, I can control how I feel about it.  For example, I could have tuned out what was being said in church and called it a long, boring meeting.  I could have spent time scrolling on my phone instead of talking to my husband, etc. I could have not paid attention to all the good things in my day, and just looked at the bad instead.  

Even when unpleasant things do happen, we can choose how we look at them, which may not change the situation, but will definitely change how we feel, and how we feel is pretty much everything, isn't it?

Have you ever unintentionally set a negative intention?  Statements like, "It's going to be so stressful" or "It's going to be rough" or "I can't wait until it's over" are setting intentions.  

Of course it's going to be stressful if you decide it's going to be!  Of course it's going to be rough if you have already decided that's how it's going to be.  Of course it's going to be miserable if you can't wait until it's over!  

Try setting an intention that you want, and see what happens.  "It's going to be energizing", "It's going to be easy", and "I'm going to enjoy this experience" have a whole different feel about them.

Consider setting a positive intention for your day, or what's left of it.  I think you'll be surprised at your result!

The 24-hour Challenge

 Last week I attended a class by Julie Hawkes on "The Law of Increase".  It was a fabulous class on how being grateful increases your vibration, and brings you more abundance in life.

I am already a gratitude person, and have been for a long time.  Gratitude literally saved me years ago when I was going through a very hard experience.  It helped me shift my mind to see that life was not terrible, and that I should continue to live it.  It was the topic of one of the first blogs I ever wrote, back in 2014.  To this day I still list three new things I am grateful for every morning.  I love this habit!

What was different for me however, was that in this class we were taught to not only look for the good and be grateful for that, but also to look for what is hard and be grateful for that.  What?!  Be grateful for what is not good in my life?  That seems crazy!  

The other thing that was new was to express gratitude for what blessings are coming in the future, things not currently in my life.  Really?  

After the class I decided to try an experiment.  I decided that for the next 24 hours I would express gratitude for literally everything I could, including the hard, and what I don't yet have.  I intentionally focused my mind on this.  For example, when getting ready for bed that night, in my mind I expressed gratitude for my toothbrush, toothpaste, the running water, to have all my natural teeth, my floss, and the chapstick I put on when I was done.  You see how intense of gratitude I tried?  I literally focused on being grateful for everything at every moment I had free space in my brain.  

The next day I continued to focus my brain on gratitude at every chance.  I expressed gratitude for the pain behind my knee, my safe journey (before I started), my car, the paved roads, the speed limit, the lights, the cars around me, etc.  And on it went, from sun up to sun down.  Sounds exhausting, doesn't it?  I thought it would be too.  

The most surprising result was that not only did I not feel mentally exhausted, I felt exhilarated, light and energized.  It was a kind of "high", and so authentic, so hard to describe!

As it turns out,  gratitude has a very high vibration, at 540 MHz.  Being grateful falls on the same level as love - it is one of the highest vibrations you can be at.  The more time you spend in gratitude, the more your body's frequency raises and the healthier your body becomes.  Super cool!

I loved this experiment so much I have named it the 

RADICAL GRATITUDE 24-HOUR CHALLENGE.  

Try it! You are in for an amazing experience!

An Imperfect Heart ♥

 Have you ever seen a perfectly shaped heart rock?  This one seems pretty close! 

 My husband was out hiking with a friend and happened to notice it.  Because he knows I love heart-shaped rocks he stopped, picked it up, and put it in his pocket.  I was thrilled when I saw it!  I have a large collection of heart rocks of all sizes (see my blog post from July 31, 2022).  

It's interesting though, if you turn the heart in any other direction it doesn't actually look like a heart at all.  While it may look quite perfect at one angle, it looks quite imperfect from other angles.  

People are like that too.  Sometimes others seem perfect.  From our angle, their life seems perfect.  Their house, family and job seem perfect.  They seem to have everything going for them.   Trust me, it isn't.  

Just like the rock, there are other angles.  No one's life is perfect.  We are all imperfect hearts.  We all have hard things, and we all make mistakes.  

The crazy thing is, I understand why I AM not perfect, and I don't think anyone should expect me to be, and yet often I expect perfection from others.  

From my angle I can totally justify when I have a bad day, or handle a situation wrong, or say the wrong thing,  but when someone else does it I am surprised.  Sometimes I have a hard time giving them grace, allowing them to be imperfect.  Why is that?  I think it is just our nature.  We either think the other person is perfect, or we expect them to be perfect.  They aren't.  They can't be.  They are just like you and me, doing the best they can.  

My little heart rock currently sits on a shelf behind my kitchen sink.  I am using it as a reminder to accept and love others for who they are, and allow them to be imperfect just as I hope they will allow me to be.   

We are all doing the best we can. ♥

Learning to Love

 It's been a long journey.  Long.  And I'm not talking about my trip to Washington to attend a wedding this last weekend.

What I'm talking about is my mental journey to get to the place I have arrived at today.  You see, this wedding was for someone I dearly love and have known their whole life.  This wedding was not a "traditional" wedding, in the "old" way you would think of weddings.  This was a lesbian wedding.

If I'm being real and raw I was not all that comfortable with this idea not that long ago.  

I was totally fine with "you do your thing and I'll do mine"....up until the point where it hit close to home.  That's when it got hard.  

And so, part of my long road to this point has been about learning how to love each person...not for what they choose in life, but for who they are inside.  I'm ashamed to say that I have spent much of my life loving people conditionally.  That is, showing love and approval based on choices.  It took all seven of my children, as well as many other people that I love deeply to refine me and help me finally learn to love, really love people for who they are.  

It's not an easy thing to do.  

        Growth is hard.  

                                Movement is slow.  

                                                        Change is challenging.  

I have a story to tell, which will unfold gradually as I share my journey in the coming months.

For now I am just grateful that I could look into that bride's eyes, see her soul, and love her for the unbelievably beautiful person she has always been.  

I'm so grateful to have my heart opened in this lifetime, to let go of judgment and just love.  It feels so much better, and exactly what each of us deserves, to be seen and loved for who we are in our soul.  

Running Red Lights

 Do you ever run red lights?  I do.  I try not to, but instead of slowing down when the light turns yellow, sometimes I speed up.  I don't want to sit and wait.  Do you do that?  

I have found that this does not necessarily get me ahead.  Sometimes I notice that I run a questionable light and the car behind me stops, only to catch up with me at the next light.  

Recently I ran a yellow-turned-red light that I should have stopped at.  I found myself behind a very slow public bus that I couldn't seem to get out from behind.  The cars on both sides were also going slow.  It was somewhat maddening.  I felt frustrated and annoyed.  As I was creeping along I wondered what would have happened if I had stopped at that light.  For one thing, I would have been far less frustrated sitting at the red light than creeping along, stuck, at five miles under the speed limit.  Also, when the light finally did turn green I would have been the first in line and could have accelerated to my desired speed at will.  

What is the lesson for me in all of this?  (Moment of introspection) 

I can keep running yellow-turned-red lights in hopes of getting to my destination a teeny tiny bit faster, risk getting a ticket, being involved in an accident, and being frustrated when the other cars don't maintain my desired speed, OR I can make a change.  

I could start slowing down at yellow lights and actually stopping when I'm supposed to.  I would feel better inside.  I wouldn't be looking around to see if there was a cop coming after me.  I wouldn't be risking an accident.  I would be the first one in line so I could choose my speed....all positives.  I guess it's just hard to stop when you're going full speed ahead, even when it makes total logical sense.

Of course this is also an analogy for life, and fairly easy to find where a positive change could be made.  Just look for the signs.  

Where and when in your life do you get frustrated most often?  

Where are other people "bugging" you because they are not doing what you want, when you want them to?  

When are you glancing around to see who is watching your behavior?  

AHA!  This is where to make a positive change.  

Think about it.  Mull it over.  Make a list of reasons to change, like I did about the light.  

Is it hard to stop current behavior, even when it doesn't serve you?  ABSOLUTELY.  

Is it worth it?  ABSOLUTELY.  Why?  Because you will stop feeling frustrated, irritated and worried.  Instead you will feel more content, calm and cool-headed.  You will feel happier.  Totally worth it.

So next time you see a strawberry blonde driving a pink car, sitting first in line at a red light, you'll know I figured it out.  

Don't Forget the Keys

 I was on my way out to the door.  My dad had had surgery the week before and was now in a rehab facility.  Because it was over an hour drive away, and because I was planning to stay for a few hours, I was thinking ahead.  I packed my breakfast protein shake, found and filled up my water bottle, grabbed the white sack containing his favorite brownies, got my coat, phone and purse and headed out the door.  What an armful.  I felt like I was hauling half the house!

As the garage door shut behind me I saw my car and realized I was missing something, something small but important.  I realized I wasn't actually going anywhere without my KEYS.  I was totally prepared, had what I needed for the trip, knew how to get there....but none of that did any good without that ONE crucial item.  Without putting the key in the ignition and turning it, nothing else was going to happen.  I unloaded my arms into the front seat and went back into the house to get them.  It struck me as ironic how I seemed so completely prepared, and yet missing one small thing was holding me back from getting where I wanted to go.  

Sometimes we do that in life.  We have something in mind we want to accomplish, a "destination" if you will, and come up with all kinds of plans and ideas on how to accomplish it, but fail to recognize the one key thing to really move us forward.  

What destination are you trying to reach?  What key thing are you missing?

No idea?  May I make a suggestion?

I believe that all the answers are inside of you.  Try this exercise:

Get a pen and paper.  Find a comfortable and quiet spot.  Close your eyes.  Empty your brain of all thoughts except for your destination.  Focus on where you want to go.  Keeping your intended destination in mind, ask your brain "How?"  Then wait.  Let your brain go where it will.  Don't guide it.  Don't try to consciously think of ideas. Just relax and let your brain do the work itself.  Write down any idea that comes.  Do not filter ideas.  Just write them.  Studies show that the best ideas come when we are doing nothing, so just sit there and let your brain work on it.  Give this exercise 10-15 minutes. Once you are done, execute any ideas that have come as soon as possible (making sure that they are legal, ethical and moral). 

This may be the key you have been missing.  Done regularly, you will find your brain knows exactly what you need in order to turn the key in the ignition, start the engine, and get going.